Sunday, 3 July 2016

Day 584 - Wanting praise/credit


I see that occasionally when I do things for people or say things that I BELIEVE have assisted others..I desire praise/credit for doing so. You know, at the time of doing things for people etc, I am not doing it for the praise/credit. It’s not until I hear/see the words “Thank you” or similar, that I then participate within ego of my mind and then come to this bullshit conclusion in my mind that..”I rock!”

But yes, it doesn’t stop there as the ego. See, the thanking me is not enough for me. I want more..I want further thanking/acknowledgment down the line lol. Like, I want to be referred to as the one that helped another get through something, or something like this. It is preposterous I realise in reality. To want this or desire this or not ‘feel alive’ until I really see/hear ‘proper’ and/or ongoing praise/credit/acknowledgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire praise/credit for assisting another/doing something for another as kindness/advice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to feed my mind ego through praise/credit within the backchat of my mind ego of “I am the best.” – “I rock.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am some special kind of person/unique in my ‘ability’ to assist others or show them the way, which again is purely ego-based and of an ego starting point.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to assist/help as kindness or whatever it is, as helping another as I’d like to be helped if I were in their position, like mutual help or mutual advice, but not only that also as simple assistance/help as should be standard in this world and to and for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put a price on my assistance/help/advice for others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support/advise unconditionally in the moment and as is necessary.


I commit myself to give support/advice/assistance and then to stop. Then I commit myself to breathe. Because that is all there is. Giving, stopping, breathing. Thus here I give, then I bring myself back to my physical body and I continue living life as what is best for all.

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