Sunday, 31 July 2016

Day 590 - I am funny based on if another laughs

Can one have the quality of being ‘funny’? How does one get this quality? Does one decided for themselves if they are funny or not, or is it down to another? I have seen myself as funny before. But I realise that it’s because others have tended to laugh at what I say. If they did not laugh at what I said, then I’d not consider myself funny.

Can I just see myself as funny, regardless of if another laughs or not? Yes, I can do this, too. It is like, does what I say match with my idea of laughter/something being funny? I’ve done this before where I say something to another and then I laugh. I am laughing at what I said. This point brings me to something I’ve forgiven myself before in the past, laughing at what another says. I am working on this point still, but it is forced when I force myself to laugh at another/what another says for the sake of THEM – and wanting them to feel good, to be happy, to ‘know’ their jokes or what they say is funny. So I see here that me forcing laughter is not about me, nor does it benefit me at all – in fact I then suffer symptoms such as a headache. This is the sign that I am forcing something, laughter here, and that I am clearly participating within my mind.

So I see, realise and understand here that no, it doesn’t require another to ‘validate’ one’s funniness. It sounds like I’m going on about being funny like it is such a vital quality lol. It isn’t. But I am walking it now because it is something I have seen in myself for the majority of my life and it’s something I’ve believed to be such a vital quality. It’s nice to have a laugh. To make a joke, things like that. But no, I wouldn’t call it a necessity at all, definitely not, it’s not a necessity. It’s just something that people can be. The qualities that matter as life are kindness, care, equality, stability, respect – these things, these are real.

I’ll keep working with this funny aspect. Now that I realise that I don’t require another’s acceptance or reaction for something to be funny, it’s nice, that. If I find it funny, whether it is something another does/says or something I do/say, I can do it, and laugh at myself – simple. And then obviously there is also WHY something is funny, like if I am laughing at something in terms of laughing at another’s misfortune or something, which is NOT funny, that is something to investigate, but I will check this out when the time comes/if it does.

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