Monday, 15 February 2016

Day 548 - I'm only THIS proficient in my mind

I see how I still do things in my daily life, only to a level that I believe I am capable of within my mind. So I go to do something and I basically say to myself "I am only THIS good at this thing." And so that is my starting point and basis for that action/task that I choose to undertake. And I won't actually 'improve' myself/do that action/task better/more efficiently until I perhaps learn more about it and so 'should be better' or perhaps I hear compliments/validation from another about my proficiency in doing something, and then in that regard, it's like wanting to prove something/validate this compliments from others etc.

Anyway, this is very limiting of reaching any type of potential that I can reach. When I do things, I must aim high. Aim high, and go high. Unlock my potential. Rather than seeing/judging myself as 'only so good' Or 'only at this level, or that level.'

Expectations can come into it, too. Like, for first time doing something. I'm a beginner, doing something totally new to me. I and others know this, and so I go about doing this thing as a beginner. As someone who is clueless. To show that I am a beginner, and not proficient/competent.
But, what I could and should be doing, is doing the best and being the best I can be. It doesn't matter if I'm a beginner, or an expert. It doesn't matter what expectations exist. It doesn't matter how I look. It doesn't matter what I'm using.

I listen, I hear out, I use my own prior knowledge if any, and/or I do what I see is suitable, and I do it the best I can do/be. That is how I unlock my true potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look for/seek, let alone reach my potential, because I was concerned only on doing something to how I saw I should do things, how I saw my level, how I saw my proficiency, how I expected myself to perform, how others expected me to perform (in my belief), how I look, what I'm using.

I commit myself to do something to my utmost ability as reaching my potential by simply going for things, going for gold..aiming high, aiming far, aiming for potential and aiming for the sky.

I commit myself to surprise/shock myself by not performing to a SET limit/belief within my mind of a specific level of proficiency, and to instead reach beyond and go beyond my mind and so doing something strictly as my physical/physical body, because only through utilising my physical body can I realise and so reach my potential in anything.

When and as I see myself desiring to do something only to a mind level of how I believe/expect and/or how I believe/expect others to see me/my proficiency, I stop and breathe. I realise that this is extremely limiting of myself/my potential, and if I continue to only be as good as I can within my mind, then I'm bound to limit for life. I commit myself to slow down in these moments of desiring to do something to a mind level. I commit myself to slow down and realise that the only things involved in this situation are my physical body and the physical items that I am using for the task/procedure/movement/action, nothing else.

So I commit myself to with assistance from others and my own knowledge of how to do things, utilise both my physical body and the physical items at play to always perform to the best of my ability, seeing, realising and understanding that the only legitimate limits that exist are within and as my physical body and knowledge on how to perform things.

Saturday, 6 February 2016

Day 547 - Living 'independence'

My actions define me, of course. Who I am defines me. Who I am as life. What I am as life. What I stand for. SO, me as human, me as life. That is who/what I am. These external matters are nothing. I DO need them to survive, but that is all. I CAN use them to enjoy life moreso/get more out of it, but again..these things are NOT me, they don't define me. It always comes back to me and who/what I am as life.

Then, where does independence come into play? Does it even?
Independence definition - freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

See. If I define myself by this definition, then I'm fucked either/every way. CONTROL? I am, as we all, are currently controlled by the system. It's whether we know/realise/accept this or choose NOT to. SO already in this sense/definition, independence is NEVER gained/not currently attainable.

SO, how can I redefine independence to a word that is best for all, that is equal to and as life here?
For me, it's to be an example. So, if I live independence/independency/independent, then I am NOT allowing the powers that be to control me, I'm NOT allowing the system to define me, I AM standing up for change as life/as the system. THAT is how I am/will live independence from now on. Obviously, I am in the system either way for now, but I am making that choice/decision/step to not be in that mould of control as others blindly accept.

So, as my new definition of independence, we all require others/eachother to be independent. Independent from the control. Independent as examples for one another. That is the best way to live independence. To go against the flow. To do something that matters, to do something different. TO be an example of change for one another.
Otherwise, no, we are not independent, we are in fact dependent on the system, on our government, on brainwashing, on the bullshit that exists here.

I commit myself to live independence/independent/independency by being an example of life, an example of change, an example of standing up to the system, an example of something more, something true/real/what is best for all.
I commit myself to do this by continuing my process, by continuing my self-change, by making others aware through all interactions/communications.