Thursday, 25 May 2017

Day 682 - Getting shit done

Getting shit done is comforting. A sense of accomplishment for sure. I got home from work and did quite a few things that previously I may not have done (this is an issue) - anyway I’ll return to that soon…but getting these things done one by one effectively and efficiently is great. Making strides/progress through my own physical actions and movement. Just as I’m doing now with writing. As I mentioned, generally I only do these things effectively/efficiently here and there as opposed to consistently.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do things I need to do consistently in my daily life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the results I achieve through this consistency of practical application/movement in changing something/myself for the best result possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not being consistent and not doing the practical stuff I need to do in totality and instead just doing bits here and there as a type of shortcut through my justifications.

I see, realise and understand that any shortcuts I desire to take are just justifications and/or excuses that I KNOW within myself self-honestly do not benefit me whatsoever, because the result is not the best, the effort is not the best, and later it only means more work for me to do, so I see that the consistency benefits me in every way, shape and form, as opposed to bits here and there as shortcuts which just culminate in more time needed where I can be doing other things I want to do.

I commit myself to be effective with the things I need to do by seeing what must be done and doing it ONE BY ONE, as opposed to in my mind, just seeing all the shit I have to do and not wanting to do it or doing it here and there. I see, realise and understand that when I put my best into Doing 1 thing at a time, that thing gets done the most effectively. I commit myself to do 1 thing and then move onto the next thing for the most impact as what is best.


Saturday, 20 May 2017

Day 681 - Ruthless

Okay, so the definition of this word is “having or showing no pity or compassion for others.” Example: "a ruthless manipulator".
So in this definition, I mean, it’s not so cool is it? It’s not what is best for all. It’s not kind, beneficial or appropriate. But I’ve seen AT TIMES, not this definition exactly, but this word came to mind, to be ruthless. For example, when I am driving and I’m waiting for the time when I can go into that lane or turn into that road. SOME roads are just constantly busy lol. So there’s never EXACTLY an appropriate time to go into that road/lane. But if I don’t go at some point, then I literally never go, so that doesn’t assist anyone.

And so as per the level of business/amount of cars and it not changing enough for when I’d ‘usually’ go into that lane/road, I have to compromise and just go into it when I see I ‘can’. This is where this word came up for me. Not just here, but this is an example. Even getting on trains. At some points, well peak hour times, everyone is rushing to get on the train to go home. You see people pushing against eachother to secure either a seat or just a standing position on that train. Before I would basically hang back and just sort of hope there’s space left lol, which isn’t always the case. Here the thing is usually there is a train soon after that I can easily get on because everyone crammed to get onto that train earlier. So that is fine. But I’ve at times, not done this, but been more ‘forward’ in actually getting on the train. So holding my ground type-thing.

So these are some examples where you may see why this word “Ruthless” came up within me. Sometimes you know, you have to play the game that exists, even though, and in an ideal world/society, I wouldn’t have to, but here, at times I do, like each of us.

So another word I can use here is INVOLVED. Lol, to be more involved in what is occurring so I can secure a place on the train or my place in that lane/road. Otherwise I wait forever literally or wait too long for no reason.

I commit myself to get myself INVOLVED in scenarios whereas I see that I do have to at times play the game/by the rules of society/the mind so as to get what I require/need, as all do.

I commit myself not to fear involvement as being insincere/cruel/mean/harsh, realising here that this is not my starting point and I’m not literally doing this as pushing others or causing a road accident - it’s just the way the state of play is and so I have to abide to it to an extent to participate.

When and as I see myself fearing to get myself INVOLVED, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that involvement does not have to be mean, tough, harsh etc - it can be to be, to participate effectively, to benefit, which I’ve seen at times is a necessity to function effectively in society and the world as it currently sits.


Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Day 680 - Thought, word and deed

I initially had reservations and a sense of confusion about what this statement meant. I mean, let me rephrase..I initially had reservations and a sense of confusion about what this statement meant in the CONTEXT of the physical. What I mean by this is after and/or AS we are removing the patterns/programs we participate in as the mind. Because the thing is, to not be of the mind, is to not be of THOUGHT. So how could one live/be what is best for all in thought, word and deed when the ‘thought’ part equates already/as the mind?

This was my question, my confusion, my resistance, my reservation, because it didn’t add up to me and seemed like a contradiction thus whenever I’d see/hear “Being the best we can be in thought, word and deed.” - what I learnt is that this is simply a STEP in the JOURNEY to the physical. So, at start, we have thoughts and they are charged with energy, charged with anger, charged with hate, with joy, with happiness, with judgment etc. What’s the next step? It is the best we can be in thought, word and deed - how so?

Because after we stop our participation in these energy charged thoughts, we’ll PRACTICE and begin IMPLEMENTING our self-forgiveness etc in real time moments. Whereas the thought comes up to perhaps do something or have a thought about something, but in that moment, we breathe, we slow down, and we make sure that thought is free from energy associated in any way, shape or form. A practical thought as one assisted me to see, realise and understand with clarification. A practical thought as to do something, a task, and to then perform the necessary action in real time and the physical.

Because, and what I was missing, not seeing, realising and understanding was that this PROCESS happens in STEPS or STAGES. And how I see these steps/stages is dependent purely upon my AWARENESS. So I see I haven’t been so aware of my process of change, which is another reason this thought, word and deed as what is best for all statement did not make sense to me. Not only that, what I realised after is we are ALL and EACH at totally different stages of process. Lol, for example, obviously, the articles, the interviews - the materials generally are obviously NOT just for myself and my process and where I’m personally at - same with everyone. It’s a very broad spectrum with people possibly having no prior understanding of the Desteni material. What is best for ALL after all. Not what is best for me or one lol.

Anyway, going back a bit, with the step/stage that involves removing the energy association of the thought - then implementing this in real time moments/the physical, then we practice with having practical thoughts. What I did not see as my lack of awareness, was that I was not simply going from thoughts to no thoughts. I was in fact going from energy-associated thoughts, to practical thoughts, to physical movement (without thoughts). Physical movement without thoughts is to mean that we’re beyond that particular programming/pattern and thus we move in a moment as per what is required of us. To take out the rubbish, to clean the house, to go shopping, to play a sport, to do an assignment.

I’m very thankful for this assistance/clarification I have received generally and obviously regarding this particular point - all available within the Desteni I Process which will change your life, guaranteed - check it out!

Image credit


Monday, 15 May 2017

Day 679 - Gaming and Reality (Part 1) - Life Review follow up

When I saw that this interview was available for purchase, I was immediately interested, being a gamer myself, both now and when I was younger. It is a great interview with detailed explanations/sharing of why we become so dependent on video games, why people of all ages do. The interview also goes into how we can make sure gaming is in our lives as something that supports, something where we can use BALANCE. Highly recommended.

It is said in the interview to investigate our own relationship to gaming and also, to highlight words where gaming supports us in our lives.

Actually, what I notice when I was a kid and I first got a Super Nintendo console, I mean, lol I just remember playing it heaps. I really enjoyed it. Had plenty of different games, but man, games were tough then! In terms of the skill level required, but still fun…but also frustrating lol. I actually remember getting very annoyed a lot of the time because I would keep dying (my character). In terms of how it affected my social life/life outside of gaming, it didn’t actually. I mean, I did play quite a lot. Like after school I’d have something to eat, then play.

The issue that I see then was that it was almost ALL I did lol. Which you’d think would mean it did have an effect on my social life, but no, because the thing was that I’d still hang out with friends a lot, whether I went to their house or they came over to mine, for sleepovers etc, the thing is though, we’d spend the whole time gaming haha. So a lot of my life was gaming. It was like school, gaming, and social gaming. I definitely did enjoy overcoming challenges in the games. Even though as I said, I allowed them to get the best of me in terms of my emotions/feelings.

But looking back, it’d definitely be best to not game as much and be open to doing a greater variety of activities with myself and my friends.
Moving forward to now, I own a Playstation 4. Haven’t had it for that long actually. And I do play quite often. What I enjoy about gaming is how interactive it is. Watching a movie/something is cool too, no doubt, but watching AND manipulating a character on screen/what is happening is something I enjoy. Even though for example the story is already set (a lot of the time anyway) and I’m just moving an avatar around, I enjoy a well developed story and detailed world with many places to explore and things to do.

Now though, my relationship to gaming is much healthier. I enjoy it yes, but I do many other things too, I do enjoy hanging out with others, usually actually elsewhere from home, listening to music, watching things, learning, sport etc.

For me, gaming supports me through enjoyment, learning, growing, understanding, overcoming challenges, not giving up. So now, when a challenge comes up (despite a lot of games these days not being as difficult as back then) can still be challenging, I stop, I breathe, and I retry, and/or I’ll stop playing, do something else and next time I’ll pick it up again and have a turn. So it teaches me patience, consistency, to fight (never give up/give in).

I’ve created a balance within and as gaming and within and as my general life and other activities I do.



Friday, 12 May 2017

Day 678 - If it ain’t broke

Don’t fix it, right? Right lol. I’ve seen where I as the mind can come into play in a big way relating to this saying. For example, well yes, something is working as needed. No issues, none visible, no aural issues, whatever, and yet…there’s still this WANT to change it, to change how it functions or operates, change some settings for example. This can be in relation to anything, such as our human physical bodies too. Why can I not be satisfied with FUNCTION that is well, functioning as desired, as necessary, as needed? It is SELF-DOUBT as my mind. Doubting myself. Even though there’s nothing literal or substantial or actual to point in any way whatsoever to or as doubt in any way, shape or form.

Doubt doesn’t exist in reality. Why do we doubt things? We’re unsure. We’re worried. We’re scared. There should exist NO doubt whatsoever. Because proper and actual investigation into something shows us. So, back to my original point, it either works or doesn’t work. Sure, it can be expanded on or improved, but that is DIFFERENT to DOUBTING what exists and functions as per usual/needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be under the illusion of DOUBT, realising here that DOUBT only exists because I’ve not investigated and/or am not AWARE of the REALITY of a situation where I can definitely see what exists and does not exist and so I then can act upon something dependent on my investigation and/or what exists/does not exist - and so this ‘lingering’ doubt or doubts are fruitless and in no way substantial, because in reality if something is fucked up, then I’ll act upon it and fix it or improve it or change it. There is NO reason to ‘change’ something that is working well, that I see is working as best for all in a moment - this I see is a waste of my time.

When and as I see myself desiring to doubt things that are clear, that are working, that are functional, that I’ve investigated and know do not need a second glance as to ‘double check’ or ‘investigate’ further, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that if something is not working as per expected or necessary, I will act upon it and change, because why would I not? It’s not a complicated or complex method or thing to act upon. I see a need for change, and I change it therefore. There’s no lingering, there’s no in-between, I change it or I do not change it. So I commit myself to change what has to be changed. I commit myself NOT to change what does NOT need to be changed. I commit myself to ACCEPT what does NOT need to be changed.


Thursday, 11 May 2017

Day 677 - An unequal response

I have not been responding to each one equally. And I’ve seen that this is because of the relationship type that I have with one vs the other. So, as you probably guessed, if I am ‘closer’ to one compared to one who I am not as close/so close with, I respond differently. In a particular instance, I was not as willing to assist/support, or at least respond, and this above is the reason that I now see. Having said this, on this occasion, I knew that it was best to respond/assist, but I didn’t..and the thing is, the moment goes fast. So if I had breathed for example in the moment and replied/said something, then cool, success, but I didn’t, and so the moment passed. I’ve noticed this a lot actually, just generally, these moments pass quickly, so one has to be fast and act fast as breath to best act in moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationship-type/bond-type as the reasoning for responding to one or not and how I respond or not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that of course my relationship/bond with each will be different. There are so many factors involved. And thus to act upon that will always equate to/as separation as not treating each the exact same and not assisting/supporting and here, responding to each the exact same - just as I’d like to be treated and responded to and supported/assisted as/by.

When and as I see myself believing that I can’t act fast enough in moments, as breath, to act upon/act as what is best for all, I stop and breathe. I do see, realise and understand that all I can do is TRY here, and of course if I require more breathing and/or self-forgiveness which calls for a longer period of time, but the moment comes and goes like that and fast, then I just correct myself then/later so that this does not happen again, but if I can act and do it all in the moment, then I do. Within this, I commit myself not to judge myself for not being fast enough on my feet so to speak, in acting/responding as what is best for all in each moment - it depends on firstly how effective my breathing is/self-forgiveness is and where I am at of course in relation to the point.

I commit myself to do my best to respond as what is best for all and act as what is best for all in every single moment through my tools of breath, self-forgiveness, self-realisation and self-commitment statements.

I commit myself to support, assist and respond to all the exact same way without limitation or barriers.


Sunday, 7 May 2017

Day 676 - Sticking to a plan

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay things I plan to do with nothing but EXCUSES and JUSTIFICATIONS in not doing that thing I planned to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to through breath, understand within myself whether thus there is something that is stopping me from doing what I planned, or if there is something I’d ‘rather’ do in the sense that I did not consider it at the time of planning for example.

I commit myself to PLAN within REASON so that I see that I won’t come to this situation whereas something else comes up/is more important/that I’d rather do - within this I see, realise and understand that there’s no reason for me not to consider ALL these factors so that I WILL stick to the plan.

So I commit myself to consider all things before I plan to make the plan happen.


Friday, 5 May 2017

Day 675 - Finishing what I start

Here I am talking about more fast-type things to finish. Basically what I realised within myself is that I’ve been starting something, but then going to start on something else – but the consequence of this is then I realise that I forgot that initial thing I started and I’ll only realise this later on when I should have and was meant to do it all in that one moment. So here I see the reason I wanted to go from this, to this, then to that as my method of doing the overall job faster, but only left me falling behind because I was trying to do TOO MUCH and got lost in it all. So definitely I see here how if I focus on one thing at a time and wait until completion before moving onto the other thing, then I won’t be ‘forgetting’ based on wanting to do too much and wanting to do it very fast and believing I am saving time this way, when I am not.

That’s why I mentioned moreso ‘faster’ type movements/methods/activities to do. Because something like an art piece, you know, drawing some detailed image for example, that could very well take months for instance. Lol so not saying I’d then do that until completion and NOT do anything else because that is the first thing I focused on/started on, so I must finish it and NOT do any other task – no, not saying that ha. But these tasks, the one’s I’m talking about that are quite quick generally to finish, I see them best to see them through until the end before moving on. So to be patient with it because in the end, a lot of the time it saves me being more behind in what I do and forgetting/being confused or lost.

I commit myself to finish what I start before moving on to the next thing to do.

I commit myself not to do TOO MUCH whereas I then end up getting lost in it all and ‘confused’ as to what I then have done or not.

I commit myself to exude patience within myself whereas I just wait for a moment or 2 for that task to finish before moving onto the next task – this way I am actually more efficient because I know I’m not leaving certain tasks unfinished based on me constantly changing to other tasks in belief that this is making me do the overall job faster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too much at once.

When and as I see myself desiring to move onto another task BEFORE that task has finished, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that I know where this path will lead me, and that is into a state of juggling too much and then getting lost/forgetting as trying to do too much in the moment as opposed to just being that bit more patient to see something through before continuing to the next task and this way I see each moment through to completion and know I’ve efficiently and successfully completed the overall goal in the moment.


Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Day 674 - Living consistency part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be inconsistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack consistency as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay my change as what is best for all because I allow inconsistency.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that every moment is the opportunity to be consistent and to wait until the next moment is to step backwards as my self-change as well as self-honesty, instead of stepping forwards in life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that inconsistencies WILL and HAVE BEEN and ARE taking negative tolls on me, on my change, on my physical body as manifestations as sicknesses, as pains, as weaknesses.

I commit myself to allow myself to use consistency within every single moment.

I commit myself to be and live consistency through lots of breathing, through lots of slow down, through lots of pausing, through lots of self-forgiveness/self-realisations/self-commitment statements in the moment and as the written word.

I commit myself to in these moments of fear and such, to identify it as awareness and as the program that it is, and to in this instance, KNOW that stepping back here will not assist me and will only fuck me over in every way, shape and form – thus it’s not worth even CONSIDERING stepping backwards and not stepping forwards as change, self-change, as honesty, self-honesty – there’s nothing to consider, because there’s only one way to move and that is forward – forward through all the bullshit, all the difficult shit, all the patterns, all the programs, all the lies, all the manipulation, into a being that is one and equal with all life here.

I commit myself to live a simple equation that breath = consistency – as I have seen myself that breath is the resolution at ALL TIMES, no matter how difficult the circumstances and scenario. And I am capable of breath and breathing as long as I am alive, thus no excuses or justifications apply. I commit myself to use being alive as the simple answer to be consistent within my life and as self-change and self-honesty as what is best for all.

Monday, 1 May 2017

Day 673 - Living consistency

With one fear in particular, I have been writing about consistency and how I can be more consistent in working my way past this fear. Thus far I can see that I’ve been up and down with it, where the ups are like the times where I breathe, I might say aloud self-forgiveness here and there (at various moments when the fear arises, but others not – inconsistency). But that is not nearly enough. I must train my body to not go into the fear. So it won’t help me from what I’ve seen and read/heard etc in others’ blogs.

Basically, if I keep going up and down, where I remain stable and then I go into the fear, then, that’s not training my body to REMAIN as the up, as the stability, it’s training my body to go up and down and that is exactly what I’ve seen in relation to this fear. I know it’s going to be difficult and it has been. There are reasons why I’ve been up and down in this cycle as opposed to being up as a stable individual consistently. As I said, I haven’t been consistently saying aloud or within myself, self-forgiveness in moments. Breathing and self-forgiveness in moments is vital. And I see no reason at all why, if I breathe and/or self-forgive in each and EVERY moment during this fear onsetting in any way, shape or form, that I won’t be able to overcome this point and train my body to not go into this fear and train my body to remain stable within this point and generally and within any other points.

It’s literally a win/win situation to be consistent with my breath and self-forgiveness. Not a single loss about it. So this means to be consistent no matter the location, no matter the company, whatever. Because obviously I won’t always be ‘alone’ so to speak or in an environment where I can sound aloud self-forgiveness based on compromise, distraction.

So I’ll be writing more about consistency and living it specifically in relation to this fear and report back on how I go with it. Already today I made great strides with this fear. At work etc, yes as I said, the fear comes up, that will keep happening, but I didn’t go into it and ACT UPON IT basically as allowing the fear to direct me. Though I can work a lot, again as consistency and training myself, to for example, when the fear comes up, it only remains for a second and then I bring myself back, whereas now it might ‘hang around’ for a few minutes. So I’ll work on this, on living consistency, using my breath alwayssssssssss, and using my self-forgiveness/self-realisations/self-commitment statements in moments of course as well as through writing, again, alwaysss lol.

Friday, 21 April 2017

Day 672 - Concept of time

I have been starting work earlier than usual/the earliest I have ever started work – on a consistent level at least (a week thus far). The first day I struggled in the morning, I was feeling very tired, struggled to get myself together/ready etc to leave my house to go to work. But the night before this, I was REALLY, all I was thinking was “Uhh, waking up at 4 am, what a draaaaaag, this is gonna fucking suck!” And obviously that really did not assist when I then needed to wake up practically. So these thoughts that I allowed to come up within me, I allowed them also to take a toll upon me physically where I just was not looking forward to waking up at all so early and when I did, it was an accumulation of the thoughts from the night before – whereas, as I realised the night after, when I don’t have these thoughts about waking up early and it’s going to be a drag and suck etc, I wake up feeling fine, not tired, ready to start my day.

So this second morning as I said, I felt ready to start my day because I was not tired, I was not dreary etc. And what I found funny was that also because I wasn’t concerned with the time at all, I didn’t even REALISE it was 4 am/4:30 am etc as I was also getting ready/eating etc. It could have been 10 am, as I was feeling refreshed etc, so it was very cool and here is just another example of how the thoughts can affect. So my thoughts and worries of struggling to wake up/feeling tired/waking up so early etc as well as thinking about the time specifically as if it was a ‘weird’ time to wake up or an unpleasant time..or simply a time where all should be sleeping lol – I saw it very interesting that these thoughts/concerns within my mind just had no meaning anymore.

And the rest of the week was the same. Didn’t matter what the time was, and it doesn’t matter what the time is, it only matters about my starting point/what I do/who/what I am. And yes I see that goes hand in hand with the thinking pattern of struggling to wake up/believing I’ll be tired too. Time is just time. Just as age is just age. Numbers are just numbers lol, but if we define them by/as something else, then we’ll struggle, that’s what I’ve realised here and generally within my process.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Day 671 - My consumes and don’t consumes.. part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to compromise my body in any way, shape or form through consumption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my eating will be ‘boring’ without as much variation as I used to have as basically eating anything that I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that while variety as consumption is important, does not mean I can’t do it at all (as I’m believing) within my mind now that I am only consuming food/drinks that suit my physical body.

So I commit myself to consume only what works for my body. I commit myself to change it up though often/regularly as the differences so that I can experience different textures/flavours and such through food that DO work for me.

I commit myself to understand that a variety of food with different ingredients, obviously that work for my body, is the best way to go always, so here I see, realise and understand that I can’t just eat 1 or 2 different types of foods/drinks and such for my life – I must still get all the variety of healthy stuff that still works for my own body.

I commit myself though to continue trying new foods/drinks and so to not be fearful of consequences on my body, but here to also use what I know of that works/doesn’t work for my body and what is involved etc to make a best decision for myself.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Day 670 - My consumes and don’t consumes..

For a while I’ve been uh..I suppose been indecisive about this. Very indecisive. That’s a point I’ve worked on generally, to NOT be indecisive and to make clear cut decisions instead. When it comes to consumption though, I’m unsure....

Like, I know what does/does not work for my body. But then the thought that crosses my mind is “Okay, this is not compatible with my body..BUT, in THIS AMOUNT, it won’t hurt, right?” And that is..possibly true lol, yet, I’d rather not ‘risk’ it. These foods and such that I speak of, NOT MUCH of any of them do I require to feel the effects, so, and I did point this out to myself not long ago, even if I have a small amount of something and ‘feel no adverse effects’ – doesn’t mean it’s not damaging me somehow, even in the slightest bit.

Okay this is shedding light upon this for me now. I have been careless with this. For example, what I’ve noticed is fruits, at least the ones I’ve tried, the more sweet-kind, they affect me. They give me stomach aches and I can get dizzy. And I have been eating a such sweet fruit in SMALL-ISH amounts, but, and I’m sure it HAS been affecting me, even if minimally/almost..invisibly lol.

So I see simply that I can, well yes, keep it SIMPLE, if it works, it works, if not, it doesn’t. As opposed to some of this..a bit of that...none of that......some of this..and a bit more of this? Whereas lol, I’m more treating my body like an experiment – when in reality I know what does and does not work, and I’d rather just avoid it totally if it won’t work.

Something I did fear in relation to this is when going to another’s house and for example dinner is served lol. So, here, it’s to either advise beforehand to see if some arrangement can be made...that for example suits my body, or, to eat beforehand/bring my own food, and well, I’m just not accustomed to this yet ha. I haven’t even tried it, but I will be. I won’t sacrifice my body in order to eat whatever is served, ignoring the effects of it upon my body which impact negatively, just NO! I mean, I have seen that my body is quite sensitive. In fact, this could be a matter of simply getting a much better grip/handle on my physical body whereas I’m more in tune with it so am more aware. Lol, I Mean yes definitely in fact, I would have been consuming this and that and just ignoring the effects upon my body in the past, BECAUSE IT TASTES NICE. I would have sacrificed..gladly lol.

More to come.


Sunday, 16 April 2017

Day 669 - Independent redefine part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through my desire to be independent, not include others and so within my mind I believe that this is a good thing for me because I can only trust myself, but in reality I am limiting myself by not including others in something/the decision/path etc – so here I commit myself to look at the moment and identify when in fact I CAN include others so that I can learn more, grow more and make the moment in fact easier with others involved as opposed to just desiring to do it all myself which can in fact become a burden which I know I will regret further down the line all because I wanted to be able to do it all myself and because of my lack of trust at all in others.

I commit myself to share the workload as example so that I do not detriment my physical body and within this I see that I’m doing what’s best for all in sharing a moment, sharing actions, sharing paths which involves others and in fact learning much more and creating much more with others involved.

Independent redefinition is:

To be self-honest with what I can take on or NOT. To know my capabilities/limits at that given moment and to thus act accordingly whether others are involved or not.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Day 668 - Independent redefine

I’ve looked at this word before, but never redefined it for myself, so see this as the next step since I’ve not been 100% able with this word effectively/equally.

My current allocation of this word is strength, not requiring others, doing it all by myself, being my own person.

The current definitions are “free from outside control; not subject to another's authority, not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence, not influenced by others; impartial, capable of thinking or acting for oneself, not depending on something else for strength or effectiveness; free-standing.”

So I do see in relation to the current definitions, that my current allocation is very much in like with these definitions. For me also, there is this trust factor, where I believe I can only trust myself. Now, GENERALLY I can only trust myself, but when it comes to certain matters and such, I have to be able to put my trust in others. For example, I see a lot that I do not want to put any trust in others, even over something small, like a small matter where I am just lacking any trust whatsoever in another.

So I see it appropriate to trust to an extent at least, and dependent on the matter/who is involved, how well I know them, and then to combine all of these reasonings to come to a decision. Furthermore, I see that this strong desire to be independent with ALL that I do is very limiting, where I am not able to grow/learn as much if I had for example involved others.

So also here, I see nothing wrong with independence in itself. As I said, GENERALLY speaking, I can only trust myself, I can trust myself to live, to do what is best for all, to be kind, to be generous, to treat others as I’d like to be treated, to give, take and share..etc. But it is not effective living if it is done FULLY and without including others.

To be continued.

Day 667 - Too DIRECT with the Equality and Oneness message

So I have seen that this is not the way. Being upfront necessarily right off the bat is not the way. Being too direct is not the way. Talking in detail is not the way. I see how I’ve at times attempted to PUSH this DIRECT message/the words onto others by basically just showing that this is what I’m into, but in this, I’ve scared off people/made them resist. This has been a huge learning curve for me, like how to approach/speak of this/general things within LIMITS.

I’ve at times NOT had these limits and so people resist because there is no SUBTLETY. This is vital I see, subtlety in the message, and obviously within this I would say the best thing to do is to always be SUBTLE, and expand YES OR NO on how the other reacts, go from there, because each will hear the message differently. If they seem interested, share slowly, if they DON’T seem interested, STOP SHARING lol, if they seem very interested, still slowly I’d say. So either yes/slowly or no/NONE lol.

And my life doesn’t revolve around equality and oneness. It only does in who I am as a person/how I treat others/what I say. So it is not about these 2 words: Equality and Oneness – which people CAN and from what I’ve seen a lot do, RESIST. So it’s to simply LIVE these principles without speaking of them DIRECTLY which I see is a great way to do this/initiate things, relationships etc. And for example, once that bond has risen, THEN can slowly bring it up, here and there, then can perhaps mention these words and principles: EQUALITY AND ONENESS.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be TOO direct/upfront within the sharing of the messages/principles and using the terms EQUALITY AND ONENESS from the start which can be resisted often from the mind’s of humans, so I see, realise and understand that it is in fact best to NOT mention these words/terms/principles and more to just SHOW, as I do in LIVING these principles/terms/words of equality and oneness and then LATER ON sharing the terms/principles/words of equality and oneness slowly but surely as the message/principles and then from there going or not going based on how the individual reacts.

I commit myself to be slow, subtle with the mentioning of the principles equality and oneness and for example what it is I do, how I do it, who is involved etc, and to perhaps NOT EVEN go this far, because it again, depends on the person I’m speaking to of these and if they even show an interest, it could in fact be that I NEVER bring this up, I Must be AWARE of the individual, what they say/do/how they speak/what they speak...etc, and breathe to see how much, if anything I do say about these principles and things and what it is I do and why, about the group: Desteni and such.

I commit myself to always be SUBTLE in my explaining/sharing of Desteni, the message, the principles of Equality and Oneness: basically ALL associated with Desteni, because I must know what I am dealing with, the MIND, and so the likelihood of REJECTION and RESISTANCE is HIGH on the radar...and so I use subtlety, I use patience, calm, slow down, recognise what is happening in another to see what I do/do not share/how much I do/do not share etc.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Day 666 - Belonging here

All that EXISTS DOES belong here. When I say all that exists, this is from the perspective of humans, of animals, of computers, of internet, of furniture, of housing, of aid, of bedding and so on. So not speaking of the abuse, the hate, the violence, that is all just a symptom of the mind. But all is all is what we are as physical. Thus, none are bad, evil..none are good, great..positive – all are the same/equal and there is never an excuse to blame or to hate, nothing is solved by blame or hate, and all is solved by self-change, self-honesty, walking a process of getting back to the physical and all we ever it should be.

What I find funny and am realising, because with me..I’ve felt within this process that I do not belong. And one reason for that is because I see that I am ‘different’ from others in terms of how I live, what I do, what I want in life, what I want in others, in the world as what is best for all, and so because this is quite different from what the average human for example wants, I see it as ‘not fitting in’ – but each and society, the world is a reflection of the mind, so no, of course I don’t want to fit in WITH THAT, so if I see this same reasoning as not fitting in from this new perspective, then I do NOT want to fit least not with what currently exists – but generally, of course I Fit in, because I am here, as everything is.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Day 665 - Judging my words and formations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the formation of the letters/words and how/what exactly I say within writing/self-forgiveness etc whereas I end up deleting it/not publishing it online because I read it back and believe it doesn’t make sense, when it does make sense which is why I wrote it in the first place/as breath – within this though I see, realise and understand that I CAN improve on my writings where I write differently/more specifically/with more know-how as bettering myself faster/more effectively, BUT this does not render my previous writings as ‘useless’ in any way, shape or form, it is just a matter of improvement as I am doing each moment through practical application/breath and generally as process and walking as process.

When and as I see myself in the moment of writing my self-forgiveness etc and JUDGING IT as not making sense, weird, odd, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that I have WRITTEN IT for a reason because it made sense to me, and if it apparently ‘no longer makes sense’ then it is of my MIND, because here I see, realise and understand that this judgment always comes AFTER I’ve written it out and never AT THE TIME of the writing where again, it’s what I see is best/necessary at the time simply, so then it’s good to go so to speak and good to be published or whatever I want to do with said writing.

I commit myself to WRITE as BREATH and keep WRITING until I am FINISHED Upon a point and then read it ALOUD to myself and then PUBLISH IT.

I commit myself to within this/at the same time as reading it aloud/looking back upon my writing/previous writings/general knowledge/information as learning about writing and specifying and improving my writing, to learn, to be aware, to see where/how I can improve, though within this obviously not to judge what I’ve done, because for example the only way to improve is to accept what I’ve done and actually evolve through it by doing something in the first place, otherwise I never improve, and I see, realise and understand that I can’t get things down PERFECT FIRST TIME or even second/third time, it takes many times..some things, so I commit myself to give myself the time and the trial and error/opportunity for improvement upon my writings/general life/points and such by doing, accessing, being aware, accepting, improving, because that’s the nature of self, to start and get better always, moment by moment.

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Day 664 - A reaction is a reaction

There are things happening in the world every second that I frown upon...that I find it difficult to contemplate the whys/the hows.../the reasoning as to performing these actions, and then I participate..still.....with anger, annoyance and such, but a reaction is a reaction and the principles as Equality and Oneness is to never react at all, not as emotion or feeling.

Thing is, taking it all the way back to the origin of self is to know of why an individual may do what they did, but it’s easy to know this, it’s programming as the mind that directs an individual. So it’s not about judging them, blaming them and so manifesting reaction as anger and such, because the origin point is in fact programming, so then how to handle it, break the programming through process, through self-forgiveness and such. Jail time/death penalty..torture, they won’t help – abuse is abuse, neglect is neglect, even if we apparently believe it’s for the right or appropriate reasons as a form of punishment, we’re inflicting the same shit onto another and that is NOT Equality and Oneness whatsoever.

We are each accountable for what perpetuates in the world and society, none of it assists in breaking free of programming, only continues it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take/accept everything that occurs in this world/society equally so as to not judge it as negative/positive as emotion/feeling, but to understand it, learn from it, know why it is happening, and basically then just continue my own process and continue doing what it is I do as the principles of Equality and Oneness as what is best for all as what is needed for world/society change in each and every individual on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to get ‘caught up’ in an event and such and then the manifested emotions/feelings that ‘usually’ come from such an event happening as despair, sadness, anger, frustration, inability.

I commit myself not to allow these events and such to deter me from my own process, the process that I need, they we all need, that is best for all as the only principles that matter here/within us all as Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to acknowledge/accept each event/anything that happens in this world, to me, to another, to this, to that, to see why it is happening (programming), to learn from it, and to continue my process through new knowledge/information that I can then use within my own process as what is best for all.

When and as I see an event on the news or somewhere or something happen to one and I desire to react as frowning manifestation and/or as sadness, anger, or even the opposite polarity of happiness, joy, I stop and breathe. I realise that any deterrent is just that..a deterrent...something that only I can allow to direct me OFF COURSE and so no longer on course as my process of Equality and Oneness and that in reality is assisting NONE, so there is literally no point to participate within anything that occurs in any way, shape or form and participate within and as the thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions and such, because programming is the simple answer to all the shit that happens within each and everyone of us and so society as a whole and the world as a whole – a simple answer for a stunning amount of abuse/neglect/ well of course as happiness/joy.

I see, realise and understand thus that STABILITY is the only word to live and be as, as principles that matter/are needed – stability as living expression is to not go one way or the other as emotion/feeling, but to stay LEVEL, level headed, straight, on course and so I commit myself to continue utilising my breath, my breathing, my patience thus, to remain here, to remain stable, level, level headed, appropriate, here.

Monday, 3 April 2017

Day 663 - When ideas and solutions are not enough

I’m sure there have been plenty of great ideas/solutions so as to assist society, people, animals, the world as a whole, some getting the go-ahead so to speak to actually become practical/a thing, and others not getting the go-ahead, but they were probably all great ideas or at least partly great ideas. But from my process, what I’ve realised is that this will never be enough as long as we have not SOLVED ourselves. And to SOLVE ourselves is to walk a process of self-forgiveness/realisations/commitment statements so as to change our patterns/programming/directions as the mind, thoughts and so on.

Yes, it’d be fantastic if this step could be SKIPPED, but it CANNOT. Definitely no quick solution. The inner/self-solution is a long solution/process, but there exists no other way. What I love/know of self-forgiveness/realisations/commitment statements is that it leaves NO room for..corruption. If we self-honestly write, our statements are self-honest, we go DEEEEEEEEEP into them, into self-honesty, we do the practical shit, we breathe, it all culminates as SOLUTION, inner-solution, self-solution.

Purifying every pattern within us that allows abuse, that leads us astray, that hurts, that judges. ONLY THEN can we REALLY be trusted by OURSELVES, let alone others, to always do/be for one another, as equality and oneness, where not a single thing will persuade us to do ANYTHING dodgy, such as self-interest as taking a large sum of money for example, or abuse in some way, shape or form. Because a purified being will not do that, because they know better, they give as they’d like to be given, treat others like they’d like to be treated, because why not lol?

I see plenty of light here, because I see the growing numbers that are investigating Desteni and commencing their own process, and it’s very cool to see. The change is happening and people are becoming aware of this fantastic process that is what is best for all, no more, no less.

Purify yourself too!

Saturday, 1 April 2017

Day 662 - Looking into the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the future will not be as I’d like it to be. Within this I see, realise and understand that therefore it’s always vital to create goals/steps that I see that I’m realistically able to attain, so I commit myself thus to create realistic goals to attain and never reach TOO far and thus never sidestepping the smaller goals in reaching an overall bigger goal, because I see that it’s vital to make sure I link my goals towards a bigger goal so that I don’t misstep along the way in trying to reach the bigger goal too fast and/or as being impatient within myself.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand within myself that the future/my future, that there is no ONE way to ‘do it’ or ‘get somewhere’- because it is solely in my hands and I can choose which way I go, that can be for now and of course that can change in the future too. Within this I realise also that nothing is ever set in stone, so changing goals/preferences through my self-change, learning, self-honesty will come up and I know this and so it’s about accepting/embracing these potential changes as I see fit and going with them to create what is best for all.

When and as I see myself hesitant within myself in what I should/should not be doing, where I should be aiming and such for the future, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand as I have explained/written out, there’s no ONE way to go or do something. Thus it’s to make sure that my goals are real, appropriate, attainable, through breath, through writing, and within this, with the money I have for example, the situation I’m in, all of these factors, and within this to NOT be self-judgmental of myself negatively for knowing that I cannot for example currently get to a certain goal YET – the key word being YET, because that can change in the future dependent on myself, so I commit myself simply to embrace what I am/have here in the world/in the now and go with it to create cool and realistic/attainable goals maybe/maybe not in relation to a bigger goal.

I commit myself to understand that I have a life now, and that is the greatest gift I can have now and so any other goals, whilst also awesome/helpful, can wait/can be created and attained at a later stage, but my life is a goal/attainable goal and I have that and at the same time am creating the best version of myself, thus I commit myself to live/embrace patience within myself as self-change, self-honesty, and the goals that I wish to attain in future.

Day 661 - Self-forgiveness on self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to question my self-forgiveness as breathing, as here in the moment, failing to see, realise and understand that this is retaliation from my mind so as to attempt to gain back control over points that I’ve released.

I see, realise and understand that self-forgiveness is basic in function and as breath, and that nothing more or less is required as thinking about it and/or additional thinking to ‘perfect’ it on a point or anything of a like, self-forgiveness happens in a moment/as breath and/or as breath is required so as to release the point and that is it, yes it can be expanded upon in that moment and/or in future at some point, but it’s NOT to go back on it or question it, because if it was in the moment and as breath, then no questioning is needed other than as the mind as retaliation/the mind gaining back control/direction over myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcomplicate self-forgiveness when self-forgiveness happens in a moment/as breath.

I commit myself to use self-forgiveness therefore as practical moment breathing whereas I speak it on the necessary points to release and then move on as breath and/or additional self-forgiveness as expansion, but always as breath and always WITHOUT thought and then obviously to continue living as I was.

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Day 660 - The ‘outer’ of energy

I see, realise and understand that it’s fine, in fact, it’s vital, it happens, to be on the ‘outer’ of energy, the outer of energy participation, which is a vital cog in the wheel of society and how everyday interactions as the mind. It is simply how we’ve learnt to converse, communicate, interact, socialise – as ENERGY. Whether it’s emotions, feelings, thoughts, judgments, abuse, it’s all the same stuff, and it’s all of the mind, none of it is what would happen as the physical body, as all we in fact are and all we in fact were as birth, the mind is of programs and patterns as growing up, as parents, as adults, basically, as exposure of the mind of all other beings from birth to well lol, the point of REALISATION of this.

For me, I’m still working on this point, whereas I am aware of this, sure, but at times I feel ‘down’ about ‘not being able’ to interact, socialise, communicate as ‘effectively’ if I WERE to be UNDER this ENERGY influence/direction/participation. Now, this IS true. I know it. If I were to be totally directed by energy, then I would absolutely force myself to interact and such, but I of course know this isn’t the way to do it, this is NOT what is best for all. Force is never what is best for all. What is best for all is in fact speaking as the physical. To not be judgmental, abusive, sad, happy, angry, annoyed, frustrated, ecstatic, and so on.

Though within this I mean absolutely, of course I can still interact and such lol, it’s not like my voice has been ripped out of my body lol. All it means in reality is that I yes, AM changing the way I voice, and my actions too, it’s all about the starting point, which does in fact change a whole lot about how I am, what I say/do, and as I’ve witnessed countless times, the abuse/judgments/emotions/feelings are evident, like, fucking VERY often in each. Lol it’s funny that in every sentence I can see, hear, know that one of these or a combination is occurring.

And what I’ve seen is that a lot of the time, it can be best to just stay silent and so not participate. If not that, then join in as a cool perspective, and ONLY join in as a possible extension of the interaction/communication if it is obviously not abusive/energy-directed in any way, shape or form. This is definitely a massive learning curve, because as I’ve said/realised within myself, energy can be so so subtle. Sure, I can usually notice it in others, but the harder part can be noticing it in myself. So, I breathe so that I can see clearly if I was under energy or not.

Friday, 24 March 2017


There are times when I do see, realise and understand that I am moving much too fast, and I know this and this manifested thus as mistakes, as errors, which shows that I am not in proper alignment within and as my physical body, I am exiting it/as separation, instead of moving as ONE unit.

I commit myself to SLOW RIGHT DOWN.

Within this, I see, realise and understand that to slow down does NOT mean to be ‘not in the race’ or to be ‘behind’ – within this I see, realise and understand that I have added these negative judgments towards/of being slow and the opposite polarity of being fast as the best way because it gets things done ‘faster’ and ‘speedier’ – but within this failing to see, realise and understand the COST of going so fast as mistakes and then having to fix those mistakes which I understand now ends up taking much longer than it’d be to just be slow at start and thus as chain reaction in all that I do to avoid and/or hugely minimise mistakes/potential mistakes.

I commit myself to rather live the saying of “Slow and steady wins the race” because in how I see this statement in my own interpretation as what is best for all, it is to always move slowly because it’ll mean the most efficiency in my daily life and all that I do as me here.

Thus within this I commit myself to live patience, because slowing down cannot exist without PATIENCE. I commit myself to live patience through using my breath, through self-forgiveness within and as the moment, through being at one with my physical body so that I move effectively at ALL TIMES.

//Note: I spoke these words as another point came up within me, so I wrote this out, then went back to my original writing afterwards.

“It’s not easy.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think this/speak this to myself when struggles occur in my daily life/moment and I feel like it’s just too much for me to handle and I cannot face/overcome this resistance and I desire to instead quit.

I commit myself to understand that the ‘ease’ of process/my life is purely upon and up to ME.

Within this I commit myself to be patient, gentle, kind to myself as I overcome these resistances, and to for example not be hard on myself if I make a fuck up or if it is taking me a long time to overcome resistances/get over resistances as ‘I’d like to’ – I realise this ‘as I’d like to’ is not of reality, it’s only of desires/fantasies, when in reality I know programming of years, many years takes much diligence, patience, gentleness, stability to in actuality overcome.//

I commit myself to live gentleness through the same living words, slowing down and patience, I see, realise and understand these and more living words go hand in hand to be the most efficient I can be, I commit myself to live gentleness through being soft with myself, gentle as the touch, as the feeling, as not to be rough, because my physical body is my vessel as life, and so I thus commit myself to be at peace within and as myself as one vessel – me, here, as breath, as the physical.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Day 658 - Facing opposition

What does one do when faced with opposition...of any kind, opposition to how one sees something, well, that’s the main one I’d like to focus on. Because generally, we fight. Not necessarily physical and ACTUAL fighting, but I mean fighting for our point, our word, our opinion. I’ve faced a lot of opposition over the years. I used to take offense, I used to defend what I thought/my opinion. I used to get angry, annoyed. I used to hate the opposition, simply for not agreeing with what I had to say. But NONE of these are of benefit to myself or another, they just keep us in this vicious cycle of abuse, of emotions/feelings, judgments and so on, so none are assisted here as I mentioned.

A big change for me thus is being able to hear out another, when it is obvious that they’re opposing me and have opposing views to mine, and simply listening. To me this is amazing, this change. To be able to listen unconditionally, despite how completely opposite for example one’s views are in relation to mine. And in relation to this it can go further or perhaps even into more apparent ‘difficult’ territory where I am getting verbally abused for example, and the same occurs whereas I just hear them out and/or don’t allow it to direct me AT ALL – which means to not fight back, raise my voice, swear, judge, inflict what they’re inflicting to me. This is powerful stuff without a doubt, but extremely effective/helpful, because what I’ve realised is there is so much that I myself disagree with in what people do/how they do it/their views on things, but I can just sit calmly whilst they are speaking these or doing these, and then respond how best I see fit if wanted.

And I see the difference between opinion and perspective, whereas opinion is something not necessarily related to facts, whereas perspective is related to facts. I enjoy sharing perspectives. Perspectives whereas I am sharing exactly what I see in the world, what I’ve seen works for me and others, these are fact because I’ve proven them for myself and/or so have others. It works, so it is fact. It’s actually quite easy to tell, well for me anyway, when one is speaking as opinion or perspective/fact. I can for example hear the aggression, or the defence in one’s voice or see it in their body movements when this is happening, and for example also when I then say my perspective and how they reply to that, for example jumping in/saying something before I’ve finished speaking lol, that’s a good sign of an opinion where one is holding it and defending it so stoutly, that they will not even give me the time of day to speak my own perspective/let alone hearing it/me out.

And MY PERSPECTIVE is that Desteni and the tools that are provided, as well as the wealth of resources/assistance/support is genuine, is legitimate, is life-changing, is world-changing, is system changing, is backed up by evidence, proof, so I strongly suggest that you check it out for yourself, because all that are walking this process will say the exact same as I’ve just said, because each knows it works as advertised, and I know that each can see the self-change that they’ve had through using the tools, resources etc. Simple as that, really!

Friday, 17 March 2017

Day 657 - Respect your elders

I see that this phrase, and others..and generally just respecting people that are older than myself, such a kid, respecting adults, and that their word is best/right, their word is the verdict/conclusion – this has taken a toll on me throughout my life and still does affect and direct me now to an extent, so I have some clearing up to do here so that I no longer fear those that are older than me and what they say and believing thus that their word is final and that saying anything otherwise is pointless because this fear of saying otherwise or even trying to discuss matters with one older than me is pointless. So this is but one example of how what we say to kids/when they grow up etc effects them then and into adult life – something we must all stop doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my elders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that elders/those that are older than me have the best word, the final word, the most accurate word, and that thus within this ‘logic’ anything I say/that I say otherwise is automatically INVALID simply based on these words of respecting my elders and that their word is the best word, which is simply not true in reality, because there is NO reason for anyone, despite the age, to have an invalid or not appropriate or not BEST for all answer based on their age – within this I see, realise and understand that I’ve seen manyyyy examples of kids with so much enlightening things to say and are very wise/smart and can see the ABUSE as example taking place in our world whereas adults do not see this because they suppress and are self-interested – this but one example – but nonetheless age does not define us whatsoever, and thus equality always rules out this age formality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that simply BEING ON EARTH for a longer period of time AUTOMATICALLY means one is ‘wiser’ or can ‘see more clearly’ or well, ‘knows all the answers’ – which again is totally not true. And obviously it depends on the subject at hand, but in the end, no point is invalid or not appropriate, because ALL answers/words/actions and such are capable of being accurate, correct and/or what is best for all, thus I see, realise and understand that there is no pre-determined life that ‘wins out’ amongst any other life.

I commit myself to accept what I know, how I do things, because I see this as the best way of living. I see that I have my eyes/actions set on something massive, and already in the process of doing so, of making a change in myself and others and so the world. I see, realise and understand that what I have to say is of utmost importance, as can be the same for any other, no matter the age, gender, origins, background, state. All are equal at all times, but what is said by each is dependent on THEMSELVES and them as the mind and/or lackthereof directing them.

I commit myself to face my elders as another human being, akin to me, as they are, and to thus speak, action as I would any other life, no matter what it is, how it is. I commit myself to enjoy the interaction taking place and discuss fully, appropriately, WISELY as necessary.

Day 656 - Moving on and up in the world

It always start with me, or to you, with you..and to us, ourselves lol. As I get further and further into process through writing and application, I can definitely say it is so very apparent that it all starts with ourselves. If I am stable within myself, easy. I’ll be fine. I just know it. With every single thing that I do. So obviously it’s so amazingly cool here then that OURSELVES is the ONLY thing we’re in control of, 100% utter control, and so as long as we APPLY, we’ll be absolutely FANTASTICALLY FINE. YAY!

And slowly but surely as process, I’m getting to that point of utter stability. It’s so easy to see, realise and understand the progress. You FEEL IT within yourself. As I have done. I feel it. And it shows in my interactions with others. It shows in how I present myself. It shows in how I stand, in what I do, in how I say things. It’s so damn cool not to be directed by ANYTHING that will definitely set me off in an unhealthy direction/way.

This process is absolutely LIFE CHANGING. For the best, absolutely. This is what you and I need. This is what people on the other side of the world need. And of course what all and each in the world need. It’s so cool to have the answers, to live the answers.

Every Destonian is LIVING PROOF of the possibilities, the possibilities MANIFESTED. Very cool if you ask me. And it shows in all that we do. For example, I’ve had plenty of people notice this and are intrigued/interested/agree with how I do things/what I say/how I say it etc. And you know, these little moments, yes being SEEMINGLY little more like it, they are as I’ve said..being picked up on, and who knows what happens from there within that individual, it could very well be the spark that leads them to becoming a Destonian too. I hope so. And if not, then the constant sparks, like a lighter that sometimes takes a few goes/turns and sparks to get the flame roaring. That is how I see it. All it takes is a single SPARK to start something amazing and awesome in the world and within another. And it’s but the simple equation of 1 + 1 + 1 that will change the world.

It is AWESOME. This change is happening and it won’t be denied. The plethora of examples in all forms is staggering and it will ONLY grow more and MORE. And the internet is a place that is endless. So no need to worry about lack of space!

I’m so thankful for everyone that walks with me and that I walk with  on this journey. There is no other journey like this. This is THE journey, the one that is the star amongst the rough, the diamond amongst the rough – the one that shines brightly in an otherwise dull world.

Thank you to you all, Destonians, I am FOREVER grateful for what you have done and continue to do. Let’s continue this shit! :D

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Day 655 - Speaking my thoughts out loud

This is like having a conversation...except with myself lol. I thought this was ‘better’ than having thoughts in my mind, that basically stay silent and are just backchat, but speaking those same thoughts out loud to myself, as anger, frustration, self-judgment etc is the exact same, it’s just that when I am alone and see that I won’t ‘look odd’ speaking to myself, I do this on occasion. I see that I do it as a form of relief/release, but this is neither of those – it’s just manifestation of these very same thoughts I’m having, manifested out loud for me to converse with.

So it’s just an outflow because, and what I see, is that I’m not releasing these in ACTUALITY as I SHOULD be doing through writing/self-forgiveness etc. So obviously it is the same thing. I generally write about backchats, and so I write about the out loud backchats into conversations too, even if/when they differ to the backchats, because it’s all the same stuff – it all must be RELEASED, obviously so I stop SPEAKING TO MYSELF as my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the conversations out loud I have with myself as a manifestation of the thoughts/backchats that I have that are the same and/or transform into other points, realising here that ALL must be released through WRITING/SELF-FORGIVENESS etc.

I commit myself to become aware of ALL that is happening to me, because it is showing me things that I must release. None of it is ‘okay’ or ‘appropriate’ – it is all things that requires MY attention so as to CHANGE myself and how I handle/direct myself in the world/my life.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Day 654 - What I know is required

This is one that I see I am failing at. Or, I try it for a certain period, try as in I see that it is what is best in the moment, but then eventually I go back on it and go back to the same routine. Why is this, why am I not sticking to decisions/choices that I make, when I see that they are what is best for all in that moment and indefinitely? I see that I fear hurting others, because in these instances, it is when others are involved. For example, not seeing one as often because the relationship is not as healthy as it could be/not as effective as it could be – well, this is basically it for me lol.

There are things in these relationships that I’ve been working on in terms of making them healthier/more effective, but when it is still not progressing as much and/or at all, then it’s either to lessen the times of meeting up or not at all. Anyway, I must stick with what I see is best in the moment/for all, and that means to obviously...not go back on my decisions/choices, not to sway AT ALL.

When and as I see myself in a moment when one asks me/says to me if I want to/that some event is happening and I can come along/they’d like me to, I stop and breathe. I realise that IF this does compromise myself/others as what I see/know is best for all in that moment, then I simply do not partake in this energy to accept simply because I don’t want to hurt another. I see, realise and understand that I am in fact hurting another through self-dishonesty, lying, because I’m lying to myself/others and I know accepting this proposal is not what is best for all and then if I do accept it, it is suppressing, it is forcing for sake of apparently not hurting another with the decisions/choices that I make.

I commit myself again to open up about this to others, and this time, to stick with it, because I have opened it up with others before, but then either they forget or think it’s a joke, and come to me asking this and that and when to meet up, and I Just do it, I do it, instead of sticking to my original principles and such in knowing why it is I made this original decision/choice in the FIRST place, so when and as one does ask me despite opening up about my reasons and such as to how often see one, I commit myself to STOP, to BREATHE, so that I see what I originally did as decision/choice and WHY I made it, and just because it seems nice to do at the time and/or I don’t want to apparently hurt another, when it comes time for the moment, it will be suppressed and forced because it’s not what I’d like to do and not what is best for all at the time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am in no way hurting another, it’s just apparently hurting another in what I believe it is they want me to do/say, and maybe this is the case in what they want me to do/say, but if it does not align to what I want to do/say as what I see is best, then it is COMPROMISE and thus it is not what is best for all, it is MAYBE only what’s best for another if my beliefs are correct, but it does not matter about my beliefs, because they don’t concern the practical situation at hand, thus I commit myself to only reply to what is practical and thus necessary in the moment and that means to stick to my original choice/decision of not meeting up with another as often, because it’s what is practical/necessary at the time and I know that this is of best control then and in the long run until/unless things change further down the line, but I come to that line/reasoning when that moment gets here/opens up and/or when anything changes further down the line/into the future.

I also see, realise and understand that it’s not exclusively about the health of the relationship in these instances, but also in regards to perspectives, interests, being on similar levels and such in how I see a relationship and thus how often it happens and such.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Day 653 - Living here

When we're born, surely we all expect to be ABLE to enjoy life, earth and what life and earth and life on earth has to offer each of us. Why is it then that a simple matter of geographic location automatically shows us the life we'll have? How can we fucking allow this to remotely exist at all, when our fellow HUMAN - exact same as us is not only suffering, but DYING - in conditions that are just...fucking terrible?

I know, we look out of our windows to see beautiful forestry, clear blue skies, nice landscapes, roads, all pristine and well-maintained. What we all require is to put ourselves in these poor countries. Put ourselves in war-torn countries - Both, so we can least to SOME extent. Then when we look out our windows...or makeshift window being a damn hole in the wall, we see the complete opposite of our lovely pristine landscapes back home - instead we see rubble, we see dust, chaos, destruction, we hear planes overheard, bullets, destruction. Not to mention the lack of strength to be able to move or function effectively at all.

Now, I have not been in this position - but Desteni process has more than awoken me to life on earth, ALL of earth, not just the LUCKY ones in my country. I could go to these countries I speak of, myself, but with Desteni process I don't necessarily have to. Sure, I still can and it'd be a huge learning experience, but a huge PERSPECTIVE change through SELF-FORGIVENESS has informed me enough of the abuse in earth/that others are in due to lol - being 'unlucky' - pathetic.

Change your own perspective and see that THIS is truly the only valid way of actual BEST FOR ALL transformation that WILL benefit ALL LIFE.


Saturday, 11 March 2017

Day 652 - Getting back on track with my process

I was not fully on track with my process. Process without a single doubt within me is the most vital thing in my life. Nothing else is more vital. I know how important this is, I know how vital this is...I know how necessary this is – for myself and for others, and for life. And for change. I had not been as dedicated as I could be to my process, and that is NOT valid. This cannot be the way. I was compromising my process in favour of something else, something different, something I Desired, something that did work at times, but also, and the majority of the time did NOT work – which I failed to take into account/do something about.

There was no doubt here that I was not being self-honest within myself and thus in relation to the situation I was in. The signs were EVERYWHERE that this was not the best thing for me. The cracks were showing, and they did develop into breakages a lot, where it seemed to be that I made the correct/best for all decision, but then instead of STICKING WITH THAT DECISION, I went back on it, failing to see, realise and understand why I made this decision in the FIRST place. There can be NO maybes. Only definite answers of a yes or no. And thus no going backs.

Despite my failure to stick to a decision as yes or no, despite my umm-ing and ahh-ing – I see it as no regret, because I’ve learnt from this and that is what is important, for sure. I got past it and am now very glad with the decision that I’ve made. I have immediately seen the effects of my decision and it’s only been a day, well, not even a day. I can see more clearly. I can definitely see more clearly how dishonest I was with myself and others. And I am immediately getting myself back on course – a lot of it to do with this decision I’ve made and STICKING to it.

I look forward to sharing more about my process/journey to life and being back on track in what is the most vital thing one can do in this life.