Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Day 635 - Enjoying simply being here, not requring the need to 'do' something


Yesterday I wrote out my tendency to when 'bored' - to place my elbow on a flat surface and rest my face on my hand. I saw that yes, this was in fact my reason for doing this always. Along with this, I saw this tendency to always be 'doing' something and not being able to just be here.

So it was cool because I was able to test both of these a lot already today. Generally and at work. Firstly on the way to work, on the bus/train. Usually I MUST do something, whether that is listen to music, play/use my phone, you know, wanting to be DOING something. Instead I didn't here, and it was cool, it was FUN. A different kind of fun that I am used to. I enjoyed just sitting on the bus/train and enjoying the ride, really, enjoying the outdoor scenery on the way, looking forward to the day ahead of me. It was interesting, actually. So here I for example no longer see the 'requirement' for phone use/music use or whatever-use when 'waiting' or when simply wanting to 'do something' for the sake of it or 'to have something to do'.

So there was that, and also as I mentioned, me resting my face/head on my hand/arm when 'bored'. I purposely did NOT do this at work today, and it was awesome. Lol there was a few occasions where I did or ALMOST did this, but I realised straight away and stopped.
The only thing I did too in relation to this movement of resting my head/face was using both of my hands, but I saw this was just comfort/exploring different movements/stances for me.

And I saw that this was also enjoyable and plus the big one, I was NOT participating within this boredom personality/character, and so instead of this feeling of 'dragging' where my work-day seems long and tedious and never-ending, it was absolutely fine. In fact, it went 'fast' if anything. Here of course the reality is work is a necessity and it's not to see it as boring etc, so this one change helped a lot with this and my ever-growing process of seeing work as this, and not as a 'bore' - just another activity that I CAN in fact enjoy and am now doing so.

Desteni

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