Something I Found interesting happened today. Basically I was on the way to work, and from last night to being on the way to work, I had been feeling ill. It may have passed/gone away, but whilst on the train etc, I was feeling worse. During this feeling, I felt more ‘comfortable’ in small actions such as touching my forehead, looking a certain way..and generally doing certain things – so I was doing things in reply to how I felt, breathing for example, where it is very visible, looking uncomfortable – see what I mean here? Generally I’d suppress these things, or if not ill, just suppress movements and such, but here it was like ‘I need to do these things in reply to the illness/to feel better’ – so I did them. It was like nothing was holding me back.
I got off the train and stopped somewhere and I was basically just leaning against the wall. It was obvious that I wasn’t feeling so flash. But again, what I find funny is that I did not care what others thought here. I wanted to feel better/get better, so did what I saw was necessary for my physical body, like leaning, like the body position and such, what made me more comfortable.
What I found out through all of this also..is that well, of course, I should not need a reason to be expressive, or to ‘do’ things..certain movements, or things that are for example necessary for my physical body, or that I want to do because it’s comfortable, whatever it may be. A natural expression should exist and thus emerge.
I commit myself to allow my natural expression to emerge through what I want to do/be as movement for/what is comfortable for my physical body simply.
I commit myself not to suppress what it is I want to do as movement for whatever reason.
I commit myself not to exist as reason to be expressive, because expression in its naturalist form is well, natural lol.
I commit myself to let go. I commit myself to not be as ‘robotic’ in my movement as SUPPRESSION and NOT as being ‘natural’ – being one with my movement, flowing-type of thing which will assist my physical body dramatically for muscle movements, bones etc.
Thus I commit myself to constantly breathe during my general movements/moments so that I am aware of myself and when I am suppressing and being stagnant, robotic as opposed to free-flowing/natural/moving as my body, physically, here.
I commit myself to be loose.