I’ve been having many dreams lately. A lot in the last few days. Whereas previously I’d only have one every few months.
1 interesting one was basically being held hostage. These people came to the house. Held me and some others hostage by gunpoint. I don’t know what they wanted. But what I saw here was the panic on the faces/behaviours of the others, and for me I was just calm. Because I knew that panicking at all would be a detreiment to myself/my position. It’s always best to remain stable, cool, calm, collected, even in the most dire situations. Because the mind of ourselves/others feeds on fear and such.
Anyway, I was quietly telling the other hostages to remain calm too. The gun people took us out to the front yard and lined us up there on our knees facing the road. About 2/3 of us. All neighbours were onlooking. The gun people wanted to make a scene.
I woke up then. It was, as all dreams are, very real.
So what do I get from this dream? I have feared this scenario. With the violence, threats, abuse that exists/happens, and myself being in this position. But it was interesting that I proved to myself, in the dream at least lol, that I can remain stable despite this shit happening to me, and can be a voice of reason for others in these apparent panic-like times, which was cool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being taken hostage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being held at gunpoint.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear injury/death.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can remain calm, cool, collected despite this happening to me in some way, shape or form.
When and as I see myself believing that I will be very fearful/scared in this situation, as being taken hostage/held at gunpoint, I stop and breathe. I realise that if this is to happen to me, then there is no better way to be than to remain cool, calm and collected and so avoid allowing fear to be consumed/used by others in an attempt to unsettle me/abuse me and same as I unsettle/abuse myself as fear and participating in fear.
I commit myself to keep cool, calm and collected in possible hostage-like situations/held at gunpoint by breathing of course to keep myself here and to not go up into my mind as fears, what ifs, what could happen, how I will escape etc.
I commit myself to be example of being cool, calm and collected in this situation.
I commit myself to embrace death if it going to happen to me.