This is rather basic/simple/straightforward. There was an
event on in the city last night that I went to. The event ran from 7 pm – 7 am,
or something like that. I did not attend for all of that time, was from about
10 pm – 1:30 am. I had not been out/doing things this late/early for a long
time, and I saw how it really impacted me. This is simply not beneficial at all
to my body. Even at about 11:30 pm, I was really feeling it, I was very tired,
so you can imagine how much more tired I was feeling at 12:30/1:30 pm!
Anyway, what I’ve seen and realised is that I see no point
in continuing this or doing this again. When it’s time to rest/sleep, then it’s
time to rest/sleep, that is it. Nice and simple. Prolonging that being
awake/moving is going to be detrimental to myself, absolutely. I don’t see that
the event/anything can be ‘worth it enough’ for detriment of my body. This is
the body I Require for EVERYTHING lol, so no, I see no ‘trade-off’ where at
times it’s ‘fine’ to let my body down/put it through shit for sake of
something/someone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe it’s fine to put my body in harm’s way if the trade-off is as in this
example, a ‘one-off’ – though within this I don’t see any event/thing/person as
a suitable trade-off for detriment of my own body which is the most important
thing to me as it’s the very thing I require to be here, to do ANYTHING here.
When and as I see that there is an event that I’ve been
invited to/that I want to go to and it is at/will go to very late/early hours
of the night, yet I believe this will be fine and thinking ‘this time I will be
fine during these late/early hours.’ – I stop and breathe. I realise this is
just an excuse/justification to attend this event, when I KNOW within my
physical body/self that this is going to be a hindrance to my physical body,
thus in reality there is definitely not any point to do this, so here I commit myself
to come to a solution which is being either to NOT attend the event, OR to
attend the event and leave at suitable hours so that I can then rest when
appropriate.
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