Day 647 - Late/early nights

This is rather basic/simple/straightforward. There was an event on in the city last night that I went to. The event ran from 7 pm – 7 am, or something like that. I did not attend for all of that time, was from about 10 pm – 1:30 am. I had not been out/doing things this late/early for a long time, and I saw how it really impacted me. This is simply not beneficial at all to my body. Even at about 11:30 pm, I was really feeling it, I was very tired, so you can imagine how much more tired I was feeling at 12:30/1:30 pm!

Anyway, what I’ve seen and realised is that I see no point in continuing this or doing this again. When it’s time to rest/sleep, then it’s time to rest/sleep, that is it. Nice and simple. Prolonging that being awake/moving is going to be detrimental to myself, absolutely. I don’t see that the event/anything can be ‘worth it enough’ for detriment of my body. This is the body I Require for EVERYTHING lol, so no, I see no ‘trade-off’ where at times it’s ‘fine’ to let my body down/put it through shit for sake of something/someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it’s fine to put my body in harm’s way if the trade-off is as in this example, a ‘one-off’ – though within this I don’t see any event/thing/person as a suitable trade-off for detriment of my own body which is the most important thing to me as it’s the very thing I require to be here, to do ANYTHING here.

When and as I see that there is an event that I’ve been invited to/that I want to go to and it is at/will go to very late/early hours of the night, yet I believe this will be fine and thinking ‘this time I will be fine during these late/early hours.’ – I stop and breathe. I realise this is just an excuse/justification to attend this event, when I KNOW within my physical body/self that this is going to be a hindrance to my physical body, thus in reality there is definitely not any point to do this, so here I commit myself to come to a solution which is being either to NOT attend the event, OR to attend the event and leave at suitable hours so that I can then rest when appropriate.

Desteni