Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Day 660 - The ‘outer’ of energy

I see, realise and understand that it’s fine, in fact, it’s vital, it happens, to be on the ‘outer’ of energy, the outer of energy participation, which is a vital cog in the wheel of society and how everyday interactions as the mind. It is simply how we’ve learnt to converse, communicate, interact, socialise – as ENERGY. Whether it’s emotions, feelings, thoughts, judgments, abuse, it’s all the same stuff, and it’s all of the mind, none of it is what would happen as the physical body, as all we in fact are and all we in fact were as birth, the mind is of programs and patterns as growing up, as parents, as adults, basically, as exposure of the mind of all other beings from birth to well lol, the point of REALISATION of this.

For me, I’m still working on this point, whereas I am aware of this, sure, but at times I feel ‘down’ about ‘not being able’ to interact, socialise, communicate as ‘effectively’ if I WERE to be UNDER this ENERGY influence/direction/participation. Now, this IS true. I know it. If I were to be totally directed by energy, then I would absolutely force myself to interact and such, but I of course know this isn’t the way to do it, this is NOT what is best for all. Force is never what is best for all. What is best for all is in fact speaking as the physical. To not be judgmental, abusive, sad, happy, angry, annoyed, frustrated, ecstatic, and so on.

Though within this I mean absolutely, of course I can still interact and such lol, it’s not like my voice has been ripped out of my body lol. All it means in reality is that I yes, AM changing the way I voice, and my actions too, it’s all about the starting point, which does in fact change a whole lot about how I am, what I say/do, and as I’ve witnessed countless times, the abuse/judgments/emotions/feelings are evident, like, fucking VERY often in each. Lol it’s funny that in every sentence I can see, hear, know that one of these or a combination is occurring.

And what I’ve seen is that a lot of the time, it can be best to just stay silent and so not participate. If not that, then join in as a cool perspective, and ONLY join in as a possible extension of the interaction/communication if it is obviously not abusive/energy-directed in any way, shape or form. This is definitely a massive learning curve, because as I’ve said/realised within myself, energy can be so so subtle. Sure, I can usually notice it in others, but the harder part can be noticing it in myself. So, I breathe so that I can see clearly if I was under energy or not.

Friday, 24 March 2017


There are times when I do see, realise and understand that I am moving much too fast, and I know this and this manifested thus as mistakes, as errors, which shows that I am not in proper alignment within and as my physical body, I am exiting it/as separation, instead of moving as ONE unit.

I commit myself to SLOW RIGHT DOWN.

Within this, I see, realise and understand that to slow down does NOT mean to be ‘not in the race’ or to be ‘behind’ – within this I see, realise and understand that I have added these negative judgments towards/of being slow and the opposite polarity of being fast as the best way because it gets things done ‘faster’ and ‘speedier’ – but within this failing to see, realise and understand the COST of going so fast as mistakes and then having to fix those mistakes which I understand now ends up taking much longer than it’d be to just be slow at start and thus as chain reaction in all that I do to avoid and/or hugely minimise mistakes/potential mistakes.

I commit myself to rather live the saying of “Slow and steady wins the race” because in how I see this statement in my own interpretation as what is best for all, it is to always move slowly because it’ll mean the most efficiency in my daily life and all that I do as me here.

Thus within this I commit myself to live patience, because slowing down cannot exist without PATIENCE. I commit myself to live patience through using my breath, through self-forgiveness within and as the moment, through being at one with my physical body so that I move effectively at ALL TIMES.

//Note: I spoke these words as another point came up within me, so I wrote this out, then went back to my original writing afterwards.

“It’s not easy.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think this/speak this to myself when struggles occur in my daily life/moment and I feel like it’s just too much for me to handle and I cannot face/overcome this resistance and I desire to instead quit.

I commit myself to understand that the ‘ease’ of process/my life is purely upon and up to ME.

Within this I commit myself to be patient, gentle, kind to myself as I overcome these resistances, and to for example not be hard on myself if I make a fuck up or if it is taking me a long time to overcome resistances/get over resistances as ‘I’d like to’ – I realise this ‘as I’d like to’ is not of reality, it’s only of desires/fantasies, when in reality I know programming of years, many years takes much diligence, patience, gentleness, stability to in actuality overcome.//

I commit myself to live gentleness through the same living words, slowing down and patience, I see, realise and understand these and more living words go hand in hand to be the most efficient I can be, I commit myself to live gentleness through being soft with myself, gentle as the touch, as the feeling, as not to be rough, because my physical body is my vessel as life, and so I thus commit myself to be at peace within and as myself as one vessel – me, here, as breath, as the physical.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Day 658 - Facing opposition

What does one do when faced with opposition...of any kind, opposition to how one sees something, well, that’s the main one I’d like to focus on. Because generally, we fight. Not necessarily physical and ACTUAL fighting, but I mean fighting for our point, our word, our opinion. I’ve faced a lot of opposition over the years. I used to take offense, I used to defend what I thought/my opinion. I used to get angry, annoyed. I used to hate the opposition, simply for not agreeing with what I had to say. But NONE of these are of benefit to myself or another, they just keep us in this vicious cycle of abuse, of emotions/feelings, judgments and so on, so none are assisted here as I mentioned.

A big change for me thus is being able to hear out another, when it is obvious that they’re opposing me and have opposing views to mine, and simply listening. To me this is amazing, this change. To be able to listen unconditionally, despite how completely opposite for example one’s views are in relation to mine. And in relation to this it can go further or perhaps even into more apparent ‘difficult’ territory where I am getting verbally abused for example, and the same occurs whereas I just hear them out and/or don’t allow it to direct me AT ALL – which means to not fight back, raise my voice, swear, judge, inflict what they’re inflicting to me. This is powerful stuff without a doubt, but extremely effective/helpful, because what I’ve realised is there is so much that I myself disagree with in what people do/how they do it/their views on things, but I can just sit calmly whilst they are speaking these or doing these, and then respond how best I see fit if wanted.

And I see the difference between opinion and perspective, whereas opinion is something not necessarily related to facts, whereas perspective is related to facts. I enjoy sharing perspectives. Perspectives whereas I am sharing exactly what I see in the world, what I’ve seen works for me and others, these are fact because I’ve proven them for myself and/or so have others. It works, so it is fact. It’s actually quite easy to tell, well for me anyway, when one is speaking as opinion or perspective/fact. I can for example hear the aggression, or the defence in one’s voice or see it in their body movements when this is happening, and for example also when I then say my perspective and how they reply to that, for example jumping in/saying something before I’ve finished speaking lol, that’s a good sign of an opinion where one is holding it and defending it so stoutly, that they will not even give me the time of day to speak my own perspective/let alone hearing it/me out.

And MY PERSPECTIVE is that Desteni and the tools that are provided, as well as the wealth of resources/assistance/support is genuine, is legitimate, is life-changing, is world-changing, is system changing, is backed up by evidence, proof, so I strongly suggest that you check it out for yourself, because all that are walking this process will say the exact same as I’ve just said, because each knows it works as advertised, and I know that each can see the self-change that they’ve had through using the tools, resources etc. Simple as that, really!

Friday, 17 March 2017

Day 657 - Respect your elders

I see that this phrase, and others..and generally just respecting people that are older than myself, such as..as a kid, respecting adults, and that their word is best/right, their word is the verdict/conclusion – this has taken a toll on me throughout my life and still does affect and direct me now to an extent, so I have some clearing up to do here so that I no longer fear those that are older than me and what they say and believing thus that their word is final and that saying anything otherwise is pointless because this fear of saying otherwise or even trying to discuss matters with one older than me is pointless. So this is but one example of how what we say to kids/when they grow up etc effects them then and into adult life – something we must all stop doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my elders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that elders/those that are older than me have the best word, the final word, the most accurate word, and that thus within this ‘logic’ anything I say/that I say otherwise is automatically INVALID simply based on these words of respecting my elders and that their word is the best word, which is simply not true in reality, because there is NO reason for anyone, despite the age, to have an invalid or not appropriate or not BEST for all answer based on their age – within this I see, realise and understand that I’ve seen manyyyy examples of kids with so much enlightening things to say and are very wise/smart and can see the ABUSE as example taking place in our world whereas adults do not see this because they suppress and are self-interested – this but one example – but nonetheless age does not define us whatsoever, and thus equality always rules out this age formality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that simply BEING ON EARTH for a longer period of time AUTOMATICALLY means one is ‘wiser’ or can ‘see more clearly’ or well, ‘knows all the answers’ – which again is totally not true. And obviously it depends on the subject at hand, but in the end, no point is invalid or not appropriate, because ALL answers/words/actions and such are capable of being accurate, correct and/or what is best for all, thus I see, realise and understand that there is no pre-determined life that ‘wins out’ amongst any other life.

I commit myself to accept what I know, how I do things, because I see this as the best way of living. I see that I have my eyes/actions set on something massive, and already in the process of doing so, of making a change in myself and others and so the world. I see, realise and understand that what I have to say is of utmost importance, as can be the same for any other, no matter the age, gender, origins, background, state. All are equal at all times, but what is said by each is dependent on THEMSELVES and them as the mind and/or lackthereof directing them.

I commit myself to face my elders as another human being, akin to me, as they are, and to thus speak, action as I would any other life, no matter what it is, how it is. I commit myself to enjoy the interaction taking place and discuss fully, appropriately, WISELY as necessary.

Day 656 - Moving on and up in the world

It always start with me, or to you, with you..and to us, ourselves lol. As I get further and further into process through writing and application, I can definitely say it is so very apparent that it all starts with ourselves. If I am stable within myself, easy. I’ll be fine. I just know it. With every single thing that I do. So obviously it’s so amazingly cool here then that OURSELVES is the ONLY thing we’re in control of, 100% utter control, and so as long as we APPLY, we’ll be absolutely FANTASTICALLY FINE. YAY!

And slowly but surely as process, I’m getting to that point of utter stability. It’s so easy to see, realise and understand the progress. You FEEL IT within yourself. As I have done. I feel it. And it shows in my interactions with others. It shows in how I present myself. It shows in how I stand, in what I do, in how I say things. It’s so damn cool not to be directed by ANYTHING that will definitely set me off in an unhealthy direction/way.

This process is absolutely LIFE CHANGING. For the best, absolutely. This is what you and I need. This is what people on the other side of the world need. And of course what all and each in the world need. It’s so cool to have the answers, to live the answers.

Every Destonian is LIVING PROOF of the possibilities, the possibilities MANIFESTED. Very cool if you ask me. And it shows in all that we do. For example, I’ve had plenty of people notice this and are intrigued/interested/agree with how I do things/what I say/how I say it etc. And you know, these little moments, yes being SEEMINGLY little more like it, they are as I’ve said..being picked up on, and who knows what happens from there within that individual, it could very well be the spark that leads them to becoming a Destonian too. I hope so. And if not, then the constant sparks, like a lighter that sometimes takes a few goes/turns and sparks to get the flame roaring. That is how I see it. All it takes is a single SPARK to start something amazing and awesome in the world and within another. And it’s but the simple equation of 1 + 1 + 1 that will change the world.

It is AWESOME. This change is happening and it won’t be denied. The plethora of examples in all forms is staggering and it will ONLY grow more and MORE. And the internet is a place that is endless. So no need to worry about lack of space!

I’m so thankful for everyone that walks with me and that I walk with  on this journey. There is no other journey like this. This is THE journey, the one that is the star amongst the rough, the diamond amongst the rough – the one that shines brightly in an otherwise dull world.

Thank you to you all, Destonians, I am FOREVER grateful for what you have done and continue to do. Let’s continue this shit! :D

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Day 655 - Speaking my thoughts out loud

This is like having a conversation...except with myself lol. I thought this was ‘better’ than having thoughts in my mind, that basically stay silent and are just backchat, but speaking those same thoughts out loud to myself, as anger, frustration, self-judgment etc is the exact same, it’s just that when I am alone and see that I won’t ‘look odd’ speaking to myself, I do this on occasion. I see that I do it as a form of relief/release, but this is neither of those – it’s just manifestation of these very same thoughts I’m having, manifested out loud for me to converse with.

So it’s just an outflow because, and what I see, is that I’m not releasing these in ACTUALITY as I SHOULD be doing through writing/self-forgiveness etc. So obviously it is the same thing. I generally write about backchats, and so I write about the out loud backchats into conversations too, even if/when they differ to the backchats, because it’s all the same stuff – it all must be RELEASED, obviously so I stop SPEAKING TO MYSELF as my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the conversations out loud I have with myself as a manifestation of the thoughts/backchats that I have that are the same and/or transform into other points, realising here that ALL must be released through WRITING/SELF-FORGIVENESS etc.

I commit myself to become aware of ALL that is happening to me, because it is showing me things that I must release. None of it is ‘okay’ or ‘appropriate’ – it is all things that requires MY attention so as to CHANGE myself and how I handle/direct myself in the world/my life.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Day 654 - What I know is required

This is one that I see I am failing at. Or, I try it for a certain period, try as in I see that it is what is best in the moment, but then eventually I go back on it and go back to the same routine. Why is this, why am I not sticking to decisions/choices that I make, when I see that they are what is best for all in that moment and indefinitely? I see that I fear hurting others, because in these instances, it is when others are involved. For example, not seeing one as often because the relationship is not as healthy as it could be/not as effective as it could be – well, this is basically it for me lol.

There are things in these relationships that I’ve been working on in terms of making them healthier/more effective, but when it is still not progressing as much and/or at all, then it’s either to lessen the times of meeting up or not at all. Anyway, I must stick with what I see is best in the moment/for all, and that means to obviously...not go back on my decisions/choices, not to sway AT ALL.

When and as I see myself in a moment when one asks me/says to me if I want to/that some event is happening and I can come along/they’d like me to, I stop and breathe. I realise that IF this does compromise myself/others as what I see/know is best for all in that moment, then I simply do not partake in this energy to accept simply because I don’t want to hurt another. I see, realise and understand that I am in fact hurting another through self-dishonesty, lying, because I’m lying to myself/others and I know accepting this proposal is not what is best for all and then if I do accept it, it is suppressing, it is forcing for sake of apparently not hurting another with the decisions/choices that I make.

I commit myself again to open up about this to others, and this time, to stick with it, because I have opened it up with others before, but then either they forget or think it’s a joke, and come to me asking this and that and when to meet up, and I Just do it, I do it, instead of sticking to my original principles and such in knowing why it is I made this original decision/choice in the FIRST place, so when and as one does ask me despite opening up about my reasons and such as to how often see one, I commit myself to STOP, to BREATHE, so that I see what I originally did as decision/choice and WHY I made it, and just because it seems nice to do at the time and/or I don’t want to apparently hurt another, when it comes time for the moment, it will be suppressed and forced because it’s not what I’d like to do and not what is best for all at the time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am in no way hurting another, it’s just apparently hurting another in what I believe it is they want me to do/say, and maybe this is the case in what they want me to do/say, but if it does not align to what I want to do/say as what I see is best, then it is COMPROMISE and thus it is not what is best for all, it is MAYBE only what’s best for another if my beliefs are correct, but it does not matter about my beliefs, because they don’t concern the practical situation at hand, thus I commit myself to only reply to what is practical and thus necessary in the moment and that means to stick to my original choice/decision of not meeting up with another as often, because it’s what is practical/necessary at the time and I know that this is of best control then and in the long run until/unless things change further down the line, but I come to that line/reasoning when that moment gets here/opens up and/or when anything changes further down the line/into the future.

I also see, realise and understand that it’s not exclusively about the health of the relationship in these instances, but also in regards to perspectives, interests, being on similar levels and such in how I see a relationship and thus how often it happens and such.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Day 653 - Living here

When we're born, surely we all expect to be ABLE to enjoy life, earth and what life and earth and life on earth has to offer each of us. Why is it then that a simple matter of geographic location automatically shows us the life we'll have? How can we fucking allow this to remotely exist at all, when our fellow HUMAN - exact same as us is not only suffering, but DYING - in conditions that are just...fucking terrible?

I know, we look out of our windows to see beautiful forestry, clear blue skies, nice landscapes, roads, all pristine and well-maintained. What we all require is to put ourselves in these poor countries. Put ourselves in war-torn countries - Both, so we can understand...at least to SOME extent. Then when we look out our windows...or makeshift window being a damn hole in the wall, we see the complete opposite of our lovely pristine landscapes back home - instead we see rubble, we see dust, chaos, destruction, we hear planes overheard, bullets, destruction. Not to mention the lack of strength to be able to move or function effectively at all.

Now, I have not been in this position - but Desteni process has more than awoken me to life on earth, ALL of earth, not just the LUCKY ones in my country. I could go to these countries I speak of, myself, but with Desteni process I don't necessarily have to. Sure, I still can and it'd be a huge learning experience, but a huge PERSPECTIVE change through SELF-FORGIVENESS has informed me enough of the abuse in earth/that others are in due to lol - being 'unlucky' - pathetic.

Change your own perspective and see that THIS is truly the only valid way of actual BEST FOR ALL transformation that WILL benefit ALL LIFE.


Saturday, 11 March 2017

Day 652 - Getting back on track with my process

I was not fully on track with my process. Process without a single doubt within me is the most vital thing in my life. Nothing else is more vital. I know how important this is, I know how vital this is...I know how necessary this is – for myself and for others, and for life. And for change. I had not been as dedicated as I could be to my process, and that is NOT valid. This cannot be the way. I was compromising my process in favour of something else, something different, something I Desired, something that did work at times, but also, and the majority of the time did NOT work – which I failed to take into account/do something about.

There was no doubt here that I was not being self-honest within myself and thus in relation to the situation I was in. The signs were EVERYWHERE that this was not the best thing for me. The cracks were showing, and they did develop into breakages a lot, where it seemed to be that I made the correct/best for all decision, but then instead of STICKING WITH THAT DECISION, I went back on it, failing to see, realise and understand why I made this decision in the FIRST place. There can be NO maybes. Only definite answers of a yes or no. And thus no going backs.

Despite my failure to stick to a decision as yes or no, despite my umm-ing and ahh-ing – I see it as no regret, because I’ve learnt from this and that is what is important, for sure. I got past it and am now very glad with the decision that I’ve made. I have immediately seen the effects of my decision and it’s only been a day, well, not even a day. I can see more clearly. I can definitely see more clearly how dishonest I was with myself and others. And I am immediately getting myself back on course – a lot of it to do with this decision I’ve made and STICKING to it.

I look forward to sharing more about my process/journey to life and being back on track in what is the most vital thing one can do in this life.

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Day 651 - Sweeping things under the rug

This expression is basically to suppress. To hide. To not FACE things. Or at least in relation to issues that I am seeing recently. What happened was I overheard someone talking about me negatively. It was fine. I was not upset, I was not angry, I was not reacting. I went over and obviously that chat ended because I showed up. I suppose they thought I was not in close vicinity. So I showed up, and that conversation ended, and a new started with me being spoken to and as if that conversation about me never existed.

So we chatted for a bit, like..1 minute, then I asked about it, if they had an issue with something I did, that’s what I asked. They owned up to it and said they did and why. And I explained my reasons in relation to the negative thing they said about me. I saw this was healthy, because I was willing to open up about an issue that one had with me, and I got to explain my reasons. They did not explain theirs, they seemed to just understand what I was saying and accept it/agree with it. So within this I see, and even overhearing it, that it was an unusual thing to speak of as a negative thing about me. It did not make sense.

So what I saw then and after I brought this up was it was simply what this person wanted me to do/be, and what they want me to do/be generally. Because I am not doing this or being that, the person that they desire me to be and/or that they want to be/are, then they have reacted negatively and spoken about me negatively. And that’s the same impression I got, because they had no reasons/explanations as to why they said what they said about me.

It was fine though as I said. I merely brought it up, explained. It was cool though, they took no offensive because I was not speaking in anger or anything. I was just calm about it and explained in detail why I did/do and/or did not do what I did not do and such, and as I said, they seemed to understand.

Anyway, I’m glad I ‘confronted’ them about this, because at the time I had considered it but was also considering letting it slide, saying nothing, but I wanted to and did. This is what we ALL should be doing, in speaking aloud about issues that happen amongst eachother so we can come to an understanding, a resolve, something. As opposed to sweeping things under the rug (suppressing) lol, because what I’ve seen with this individual is their body language and such towards me is one of resistance, so all of this backchat and what they’ve said of me is very evident in their demeanor towards me. And I have overheard things before that they’ve said of me negatively. So it is a culmination.

It’s cool though, because if I overheard something similar in the past, I DEFINITELY would have just done the same myself in sweeping things under the rug, by pretending as if I heard nothing negative said about me, and acting all happy (fake) and pleasant, and within this also, trying to PLEASE that person by acting upon what they said of me negatively, so doing something different in the hope of pleasing them, but within this also, I’d have anger towards that person, my own suppression. So it is fascinating how this little chain of events and moments occurs and what it leads to within each moment.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Day 650 - Why is drama so ‘engaging’?

There is drama in reality tv, in general tv shows, in movies, in the news. And we are ADDICTED to this drama. Even if the drama is more ‘negative’ – such as a robbery, death, murder...it’s still engaging in a way. So I see that it’s the unexpected, but not only that..also the excitement, something to escape our daily lives that we’ve come to see as too similar..boring.......the same thing, repetitive. This drama gets our attention, makes us happy..excited...surprised.......these things, and then we long for it because it makes us ‘feel something’ – makes us feel ‘alive’.

And I can bring this back to myself in terms of when I first started investigating the Desteni material/walking process, I feared that if me/EVERYONE stood as the principles of equality and oneness, then I feared that life would be BORING, because of thoughts such as “Where is the fun? Where is the joy? Where is the DANGER? Where is the EXCITEMENT? Where is the DRAMA? Won’t it be shit if we’re all getting along, respecting, caring, loving eachother and life? Does the mind not keep things interesting as fear, as anger, as sadness, as happiness, as death..killing.........drama...happenings, whether negative or positive?”

This only goes to show my addiction and reliance on drama. And the boredom I’ve actually been living because of not even remotely beginning to understand my true potential. The potential I can be/reach to become whatever it is I want to be, to do this and that, try new things, and basically not allow my mind to stop me from experiencing what I  would like to experience, but are too fearful because of self-judgements and such.

I am completely wrong here. A world full of each standing as equality and oneness would be...wow lol. Amazing I’m sure. Though imaginations and imagining it now is pointless. Best to focus on the now and actually GETTING THERE PRACTICALLY. That is the MASSIVE STEP infront of us right now. That is why I commit myself to this journey, for life. For all.