Sunday, 5 March 2017

Day 651 - Sweeping things under the rug


This expression is basically to suppress. To hide. To not FACE things. Or at least in relation to issues that I am seeing recently. What happened was I overheard someone talking about me negatively. It was fine. I was not upset, I was not angry, I was not reacting. I went over and obviously that chat ended because I showed up. I suppose they thought I was not in close vicinity. So I showed up, and that conversation ended, and a new started with me being spoken to and as if that conversation about me never existed.

So we chatted for a bit, like..1 minute, then I asked about it, if they had an issue with something I did, that’s what I asked. They owned up to it and said they did and why. And I explained my reasons in relation to the negative thing they said about me. I saw this was healthy, because I was willing to open up about an issue that one had with me, and I got to explain my reasons. They did not explain theirs, they seemed to just understand what I was saying and accept it/agree with it. So within this I see, and even overhearing it, that it was an unusual thing to speak of as a negative thing about me. It did not make sense.

So what I saw then and after I brought this up was it was simply what this person wanted me to do/be, and what they want me to do/be generally. Because I am not doing this or being that, the person that they desire me to be and/or that they want to be/are, then they have reacted negatively and spoken about me negatively. And that’s the same impression I got, because they had no reasons/explanations as to why they said what they said about me.

It was fine though as I said. I merely brought it up, explained. It was cool though, they took no offensive because I was not speaking in anger or anything. I was just calm about it and explained in detail why I did/do and/or did not do what I did not do and such, and as I said, they seemed to understand.

Anyway, I’m glad I ‘confronted’ them about this, because at the time I had considered it but was also considering letting it slide, saying nothing, but I wanted to and did. This is what we ALL should be doing, in speaking aloud about issues that happen amongst eachother so we can come to an understanding, a resolve, something. As opposed to sweeping things under the rug (suppressing) lol, because what I’ve seen with this individual is their body language and such towards me is one of resistance, so all of this backchat and what they’ve said of me is very evident in their demeanor towards me. And I have overheard things before that they’ve said of me negatively. So it is a culmination.


It’s cool though, because if I overheard something similar in the past, I DEFINITELY would have just done the same myself in sweeping things under the rug, by pretending as if I heard nothing negative said about me, and acting all happy (fake) and pleasant, and within this also, trying to PLEASE that person by acting upon what they said of me negatively, so doing something different in the hope of pleasing them, but within this also, I’d have anger towards that person, my own suppression. So it is fascinating how this little chain of events and moments occurs and what it leads to within each moment.

2 comments:

  1. Cool Anthony, I have never been in that situation before though I have been in similar one'. What I did was to not talk about it, because I thought that it would not change anything anyway. However in reading your blog I can see that I really do not know what could have developed, and also that my reasoning was a way to hide my fear of confronting the person. So, I am going to push this point of opening up disagreements/backchat etc. when I am exposed to it and see what happens.

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    1. Awesome Viktor, sounds cool! Will be interested in hearing the outcome if the opportunity here arises. Thanks for sharing.

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