I was not fully on track with my process. Process without a single doubt within me is the most vital thing in my life. Nothing else is more vital. I know how important this is, I know how vital this is...I know how necessary this is – for myself and for others, and for life. And for change. I had not been as dedicated as I could be to my process, and that is NOT valid. This cannot be the way. I was compromising my process in favour of something else, something different, something I Desired, something that did work at times, but also, and the majority of the time did NOT work – which I failed to take into account/do something about.
There was no doubt here that I was not being self-honest within myself and thus in relation to the situation I was in. The signs were EVERYWHERE that this was not the best thing for me. The cracks were showing, and they did develop into breakages a lot, where it seemed to be that I made the correct/best for all decision, but then instead of STICKING WITH THAT DECISION, I went back on it, failing to see, realise and understand why I made this decision in the FIRST place. There can be NO maybes. Only definite answers of a yes or no. And thus no going backs.
Despite my failure to stick to a decision as yes or no, despite my umm-ing and ahh-ing – I see it as no regret, because I’ve learnt from this and that is what is important, for sure. I got past it and am now very glad with the decision that I’ve made. I have immediately seen the effects of my decision and it’s only been a day, well, not even a day. I can see more clearly. I can definitely see more clearly how dishonest I was with myself and others. And I am immediately getting myself back on course – a lot of it to do with this decision I’ve made and STICKING to it.
I look forward to sharing more about my process/journey to life and being back on track in what is the most vital thing one can do in this life.