Thursday, 16 March 2017

Day 655 - Speaking my thoughts out loud

This is like having a conversation...except with myself lol. I thought this was ‘better’ than having thoughts in my mind, that basically stay silent and are just backchat, but speaking those same thoughts out loud to myself, as anger, frustration, self-judgment etc is the exact same, it’s just that when I am alone and see that I won’t ‘look odd’ speaking to myself, I do this on occasion. I see that I do it as a form of relief/release, but this is neither of those – it’s just manifestation of these very same thoughts I’m having, manifested out loud for me to converse with.

So it’s just an outflow because, and what I see, is that I’m not releasing these in ACTUALITY as I SHOULD be doing through writing/self-forgiveness etc. So obviously it is the same thing. I generally write about backchats, and so I write about the out loud backchats into conversations too, even if/when they differ to the backchats, because it’s all the same stuff – it all must be RELEASED, obviously so I stop SPEAKING TO MYSELF as my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the conversations out loud I have with myself as a manifestation of the thoughts/backchats that I have that are the same and/or transform into other points, realising here that ALL must be released through WRITING/SELF-FORGIVENESS etc.

I commit myself to become aware of ALL that is happening to me, because it is showing me things that I must release. None of it is ‘okay’ or ‘appropriate’ – it is all things that requires MY attention so as to CHANGE myself and how I handle/direct myself in the world/my life.

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