So in this definition, I mean, it’s not so cool is it? It’s not what is best for all. It’s not kind, beneficial or appropriate. But I’ve seen AT TIMES, not this definition exactly, but this word came to mind, to be ruthless. For example, when I am driving and I’m waiting for the time when I can go into that lane or turn into that road. SOME roads are just constantly busy lol. So there’s never EXACTLY an appropriate time to go into that road/lane. But if I don’t go at some point, then I literally never go, so that doesn’t assist anyone.
And so as per the level of business/amount of cars and it not changing enough for when I’d ‘usually’ go into that lane/road, I have to compromise and just go into it when I see I ‘can’. This is where this word came up for me. Not just here, but this is an example. Even getting on trains. At some points, well peak hour times, everyone is rushing to get on the train to go home. You see people pushing against eachother to secure either a seat or just a standing position on that train. Before I would basically hang back and just sort of hope there’s space left lol, which isn’t always the case. Here the thing is usually there is a train soon after that I can easily get on because everyone crammed to get onto that train earlier. So that is fine. But I’ve at times, not done this, but been more ‘forward’ in actually getting on the train. So holding my ground type-thing.
So these are some examples where you may see why this word “Ruthless” came up within me. Sometimes you know, you have to play the game that exists, even though, and in an ideal world/society, I wouldn’t have to, but here, at times I do, like each of us.
So another word I can use here is INVOLVED. Lol, to be more involved in what is occurring so I can secure a place on the train or my place in that lane/road. Otherwise I wait forever literally or wait too long for no reason.
I commit myself to get myself INVOLVED in scenarios whereas I see that I do have to at times play the game/by the rules of society/the mind so as to get what I require/need, as all do.
I commit myself not to fear involvement as being insincere/cruel/mean/harsh, realising here that this is not my starting point and I’m not literally doing this as pushing others or causing a road accident - it’s just the way the state of play is and so I have to abide to it to an extent to participate.
When and as I see myself fearing to get myself INVOLVED, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that involvement does not have to be mean, tough, harsh etc - it can be to be, to participate effectively, to benefit, which I’ve seen at times is a necessity to function effectively in society and the world as it currently sits.