Thursday, 14 August 2014

Day 257 - Too tired to blog

It's 10:20 pm, I'm so tired. Usually I blog at about 7 pm, but I decided to watch the news instead. Then I went on Skype after that. But I was putting off blogging. I came to this page earlier, at about 7:40 pm, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. But I was rushing things. I had other things that I had to do, too, and I was focused on doing them. Then I just decided to go on Skype because I told someone I'd be on Skype tonight.

Blogging daily is really important for my self-change, I know this. I've tested this. If I go days, even one day without blogging, I 'feel' it - it's like I've gone off path, I've gone astray. Which is true. A straight path is a consistent path, and a consistent path is a straight path, a daily path. So, not taking into account days that I can't blog for REAL reasons, I want to blog daily, and tiredness is certainly no excuse to not blog.

And as always, it all started with ME. I struggled to get out of bed this morning - I gave into that 'let's fall back to sleep' backchat.

But I'm writing now. I almost went to sleep without writing, but I'm pushing myself as my physical self to write/not participating in my mind's desires of me to sleep and ignore my daily writing - my daily writing is my process of being and my process of change - I won't go astray.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of tiredness to ignore my blogging.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not look at the original reason as to why I'm so tired in the first place - that being me giving into my mind's desires/wants/backchats to fall asleep again.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in the past, go astray from my course of consistent daily blogging - not realising that daily blogging is what I need to truly change.

When and as I see myself using tiredness as an excuse to not write, I stop and breathe. I realise that it was MYSELF who allowed the backchats within my mind to take place in my unconscious mind through falling back to sleep again in the first place.

I commit myself to not allow excuses of tiredness within myself.

I commit myself to blog daily, unless having a necessary/valid reason to not blog.

I commit myself to realise/understand the self-change within DAILY blogging/consistent blogging.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my state of tiredness in which I've accepted and allowed myself to become.

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